Suddenly Everything Has Changed
by emilyisgr8
Summary: When Harry and Hermione meet again after a year of lost contact the lines of friendship blur beyond anything they have seen before. But how will things go with the complications of friends and family getting in the way. HP/HG
1. Prologue

**Ok I'm going to apologise now for a fairly long authors note but there's things I need to say first.**

**1. I'm not a Hermione/Harry shipper, which is exactly why I chose them two. I wanted to challenge myself.**

**2. Also this will be in first person, I want to see if it helps you relate more to the characters.**

**3. This is named after a Flaming Lips song, and each chapter will be named after a song- and I will say the artist for you.**

**4. Finally, I tweeked JK's aging of the characters slightly. This takes place 17 years later, and I'll write the school years of the children. **

Teddy Lupin- Seventh year

Victoire Weasley- Fifth year

Dominique Weasley- Third Year

James Sirius Potter- Fifth year

Albus Severus Potter- Third year

Lily Luna Potter- First year

Scorpius Malfoy- First year

Rose Weasley- Third year

Hugo Weasley- First year

Molly Weasley II- Fourth year (Percy's daughter)

Lucy Weasley- Second year (Percy's daughter)

Fred Weasley II- Sixth year (George's daughter)

Roxanne Weasley- Second year (George's daughter)

**ok finished now, i promise. **

* * *

><p>She wasn't the "prettiest witch of her year" now was she? I could see her, glaring at me from under a heavy black moustache and heavy eyebrows, whilst she sported similar glasses to mine. When I tipped the frame she glared at me and shouted abuse which I could not hear, as she was only a photograph of the devil herself. I drew little flames at the bottom and put devil horns on her, which only made her angrier, and made me snigger to myself.<p>

"Harry mate, do you really think I'm going to stand there and let you deface a picture of my sister?" Ron asked, rolling his eyes and tugging the portrait of of my hands. He pulled out his wand and tapped the glass, removing the improvements to her fat head.

I shrugged then took it back off him and put it in the box it was meant to be in. The box was filled with photographs, the newspaper cutting of their trip to Egypt, a picture of Hugo and Rose and one of the "Golden Trio" as they had been dubbed at the time of the photograph. Now it wasn't so much of a trio as a double act.

"Is it weird, at the age of 34, to be finally moving all your things out of your childhood room?" I asked him, with enough innocence as we stared at the stripped room. Long gone were the days of clashing orange covers and walls with comics about a muggle on the windowsill.

"Yeah, well, I've been busy" Ron said defensively, lazily flicking his wand to make the boxes float along behind him, with me bringing up the rear.

He was always so defensive now, like I was going to judge him for any thing which may be less than perfect, which was a little insulting after everything they had been through together.

"It's not an attack, Ron" I felt like I needed to remind him.

"I know, I know, it's just I never see Hermione anymore. Not even when I'm dropping the kids off" he sighed, before grabbing me and apparating us back to his house.

I stared around, I'd not seen his new house yet. It was fairly simple, yet homely which was very like Ron. We walked to his room before dumping his boxes on his bed, and I sat on it whilst I watched him unpack. He'd moved out of home about three years ago, when Hermione trusted him to look after their children on his own. But this house was new, as he'd been making more money now after finally completing training to be an auror after years of taking odd jobs and stints in Weasley Wizard Wheezes.

"Why don't you see her?"

"I don't know myself, she doesn't seem to live anywhere either, only takes the kids out about twice a week then brings them back. It's the weirdest thing. I don't get it either, because Mum has finally forgiven her"

That had been a massive factor as to why he and Ron never saw Hermione any more, Mrs. Weasley. In her opinion, if Hermione and Ron could casually meet up to have sex then they could be in a relationship, especially if they'd had two children together. She thought very little of having a child out of wedlock, and begged them to marry when Hermione was pregnant the first time. The even odder thing was that I was still accepted into the family, despite everything.

I could sense Ron was quickly becoming depressed with the subject so I smiled at the next thing he was about to unpack and pulled them out the box. It was the chocolate frog cards of me, him and Hermione. When it had been advertised at a quidditch match him and Ron were at that they were the newest cards Ron had ran down the snack area and bought about eighty of them. When he returned he opened the first one to find the card of me, by his fifth one he'd found Hermione. Unfortunately for Ron he was chocolate frog number 74 and also violently sick, all over a pretty girl he'd been flirting with earlier.

He looked slightly green as I drew the cards out of the box. "Harry, I don't want to see them again for as long as I live"

"Not going to display them on your wall?" I asked innocently.

He threw me a dark look then chucked them in the chest of drawers he was filling, then carried on piling in various things from their time at Hogwarts.

"Who's getting the Marauders map then?" Ron asked, now pulling out his photographs and placing them at various points of the room. Pausing slightly at the one of the three of them.

"I'm not giving it to either of them, it wouldn't be fair. But I know full well who has it right now" I grinned, thinking about my son and how he was easily living up to the expectations of the two men who he was named after.

"James then" Ron grinned back, his children and my children would play together when they were young. It was inevitable really, if they hadn't of gotten along we would have made them.

"How do you feel about going back?" Ron called over a bit later, attempting to look at me over his shoulder.

I sighed slightly. "I don't know really, I want to get back to school but I hate the transfiguration professor they've had the past few years, she's no Mcgonagall"

"Maybe there will be a new one? Plus you get to see your kids more" Ron said lightly.

"I suppose there's that" I grinned again, I'd definitely be able to watch out for them.

"Two more days" Ron said, sadly. His youngest child, Hugo would be going up this time leaving Ron without them.

"I'll look out for him" I said, practically reading his thoughts.

"Thanks mate" he grinned pulling out the final item, it was his Krum action figure with the broken arm. His grin fell and let it fall back in the box.

* * *

><p>It was the usual September 1st at Kings Cross, full of muggles going to work and as usual on that date wizards scattered in the middle of the unsuspecting ones. I fought my way through flanked by my three children, Ron and his two. James was showing off as usual, strutting down the platform like a celebrity, which shifted a sigh from me. Albus was just quiet as usual, pushing his luggage and examining the trains. Then there was Lily, who was walking alongside Hugo as they chattered nervously to each other, the pair of them couldn't wait to go to Hogwarts but now it was here they were terrified. They reached platform 9 and 34 much quicker than they had done when they were young and let James go first. James was always the one who didn't run, merely continue his strut down the platform. Then Albus and Rose went together, but they opted for leaning against the barrier and pretending to talk before falling through. Then finally Lily left Hugo's side and clutched at my hand, as Hugo looked nervously up at his father.

"You go first" I said to Ron, who nodded then spoke words of encouragement to Hugo before running with him. Then Lily and I followed, her whole body radiating nervous excitement until we emerged onto the other side and stood face-to-face with the huge scarlet train. She beamed up at it, and I stroked her hair. I was glad to be back really.

The smile left me quickly however as I saw the very sight I didn't want to see. There she was, Ginny Weasley. Her red hair flowing in its waterfall way down her back, her eyes strong and brown. I examined her outfit that was a little too lowcut for her age, and for being a mother, and her knee length skirt showing off her legs. I hated the ground she walked on and she knew it as she met me stiffly.

"Harry"

"Ginny"

James broke the uncomfortable tension by running to his mother and catching her round her thin frame, giving her a hug. She smiled and kissed his head, before he ran off in search of his friends. Lily and Albus gave each other a look before slipping off, in search of whatever red haired relative they could find.

"Harry, I want you to meet my new boyfriend" Ginny said, her curt performance had slipped and now she seemed nervous.

"Hiya Harry" came the horrifically familiar voice of no other than Dean Thomas. He stood tall and muscular, his skin flawless and dark, he was of course perfect as he had been at school.

"Dean" I said, giving him a sneer that would make Draco Malfoy proud.

I heard an audible sigh from Ginny as she surveyed the scene with disappointment, but that bitch's opinion means nothing to me- at least not anymore.

"So what do you get up to these days?" I asked him, watching Ginny be lured into a false sense of relief that I was inquiring into what his life was like.

"I do physical therapy at the hospital, I believe that magic only gets you so far- then again I grew up practically a muggle born!" he answered brightly, even going for a laugh after initial unease.

I didn't like having to be so harsh to Dean, I liked Dean. But to irritate Ginny the best way would be through him, he'd understand he was a nice guy. Then again as I examined a clear set of muscles behind the thin material of his shirt I wasn't sure that was safe. But I could take him in a duel.

"Cute" I replied as false as I could manage, which quickly made his grin slip slightly.

"Come on Dean, we'll see the kids off" Ginny said sharply, steering Dean away but staring daggers at me.

I smirked slightly at her before finding Ron, who wasn't hard to spot with his bright red hair glowing down the platform and wandering over to him as he did all the checks Hermione was usually there to do. I frowned as I realised it was he who was doing it and not Hermione, she always turned up without fail on leaving day to tearfully wave them off. In fact, Harry hadn't seen her since the last time. Her and Ron had had a big argument, which neither of them would speak of, and hadn't spoken since other than to pass the children between them. Similar to how things happened at Hogwarts, when Ron fell out with her I would too.

"Where's Hermione?" I asked him out loud.

He pulled a face "Said she couldn't be here, owled me last night with an apology but had the nerve to say it didn't matter anyway. Couldn't even be bothered to see her children off"

"It's Hermione, there will be some complicated reason" I shrugged, turning to give my ex-niece and goddaughter a hug before she finally gave her father a long one. With that Rose Weasley was on the train, in search of her friends.

Ron bent down to look Hugo in his terrified eyes before saying "You'll be alright Hu, you have Harry looking out for you. As well as your cousins and Teddy"

"I have more than them" he replied quietly, a little smile on his face.

"Who?" Ron asked, puzzled.

"Can't say"

With a perplexed look Ron was about to ask more but the train gave a great whistle, signalling it would be leaving. In short time Ginny had appeared at their side, flanked by Dean and Lily.

"Did James and Albus leave without saying goodbye?" I asked, a little hurt.

Ginny smirked "You'll be seeing them in a few hours, you can even tuck them up in bed if it makes you feel better-"

I looked pointedly down at Lily, it wasn't good for her to feel all this tension and negativity all the time. Ginny bit back the end of her retort before bending down to look eye to eye with her only daughter.

"You have a fun year sweetheart, don't get into any trouble and don't listen to anything your brothers tell you"

I bent down, reluctantly, to join her. Privately I agreed with the end of her advice, Albus who had initially been terrified of being a Slytherin and constantly teased by his brother had turned into a younger version of him, the more his hormones kicked in the more irritating he got.

"Your mum's right sweetheart, and if you need anything you can come see me in my office whenever. But," I added grudgingly "If it's more of a girly problem then make sure you owl your mum, I don't want to hear anything about the red sea errupting"

I could hear Ron, Hugo and Dean's laughter as they watched what could almost be mistaken for a pair of happy parents telling their children what to do. But after the chat, and after two final hugs the pair boarded the train and after slightly manic waving the image was broken and they stepped apart, Ginny and Dean walking over to greet George, Percy, Percy's wife (I could never remember her name), Angelina, Bill, Louis and Fluer. I watched Ginny walk over to embrace Fleur and couldn't help but fondly remember her lovely nickname for her, "Phlegm" if I remembered rightly.

"You don't have to always be so angry towards her, Harry" Ron said, quite softly. I turned reluctantly to my best friend, his expression was unreadable.

"Or you to Hermione" I reminded him, seeing a flicker of pain at the name. "You love her Ron"

"I don't Harry, we were just a few drunken shags. Nothing more" Ron shrugged casually, much like his and Hermione's "encounters".

Deciding it was probably best to change the subject I asked instead "So are you lot heading to the burrow?"

"Yeah" Ron smiled slightly, "Mum's getting a bit of empty nest syndrome, Louis is the only of her grandchildren who won't be at school"

Checking the big clock on the platform it would appear I needed to be heading to Hogwarts. "Alright mate, I'm going to have to go now if I want to be unpacked before the feast"

"Yeah, yeah they're growing impatient too," Ron said, indicating to his family who were watching them. "I'll owl you when I can get to Hogsmeade, and we could meet up with Hagrid and Neville or something"

"That sounds great," I grinned, stepping forward to tightly embrace my best friend before stepping apart. He grinned one last time then walked over towards the large group of people next to the barrier to the Muggle world. I waved to them briefly before apparating out of London and back to the one place I always saw as home.


	2. Chapter 1 Halfway Home

**Chapter Song: Halfway Home- TV On The Radio**

**A fairly short chapter but to keep the drama in it had to be cut short.**

I emerged in Hogmeade, in the clearing where the carriages would take them to up to the castle, it looked the same as it always did. The silhouette of Hogwarts could be seen vaguely in the distance behind a thin barrier of mist. After a peacefully, uneventful walk to the castle I arrived there to find Oliver Wood in the entrance hall, upon seeing me he walked forward and grasped my hand, a friendly grin on his face.

Oliver Wood had only been headmaster a year, at first people opposed the decision with the reasoning of that he was too young. However, Kingsley made a speech saying how the war has aged and matured us all, it was rare for a Minister of Magic to take such interest in a teachers placement but Kingsley was different to the others. So reluctantly people backed the decision, which turned out to be a better one than anyone could of expected. Oliver was young enough to understand the students but old enough to be an authoritative figure to them.

"Oh yeah Harry I had something I wanted to ask you" Wood called, after I'd started to walk towards my chambers. I turned back and faced him, intrigued.

"How would you feel about being head of Gryffindor?" he asked, his expression hopeful.

"Wow what about Rosaline?" I asked, referring to my less than liked transfiguration teacher and colleague.

"She's retiring, and I thought who else but the Boy Who Lived"

I winced at the old title, some things you can never put behind you. "I'd be happy to, why didn't you owl me?"

"Honestly I forgot" Wood confessed, slightly shamefaced. "But I needed to check because as head of house your chambers get a little extension"

"I'd of kept that anyway" I grinned, which was not returned by Wood. He was much like he was as Quidditch captain. "Joking"

"Oh" his face lit up. "Well I'll see you at the feast"

"Yeah, bye Oliver"

He walked off in the direction of some blonde haired professor dressed in a slick black suit who had walked into the hall so I continued on to the staircase, and to my chambers in the Defence Against the Dark Arts area of school. I saw what he meant when I walked in. My kitchen/living room area remained the same but had a large Gryffindor banner hanging over the fire place. The bathroom was as it was as was the bedroom, the extension was an extra room. There was only a bed on there with a note laid upon it, I walked forward and picked it up. It read:

"I wasn't sure what you would want to do with this room, I left a bed because I thought your children may want to stay with you during the weekends but I honestly wasn't sure. If that is not what you desire you can of course transfigure the bed into something you may want to use and if you aren't sure how, I'm _certain _the new Transfiguration professor would be happy to help"

I frowned at the parchment for a moment, wondering who this professor is but cast that aside. Lily may want to just to settle in, but she may become quite popular and not want to leave her friends, I could ask her at some point. Drawing out my wand I pointed it at the fireplace and it immediately erupted in flames, then I grabbed some floo powder, threw it into the fire, stepped into the fire and called out "Potter's Cottage". It didn't matter the amount of times I would floo somewhere, I'd always hate that spinning sensation and being thrown around the grate. I emerged in my house and walked over to the cases. For a wedding present for me and Ginny the Weasley's had rebuilt the original house my parents lived in in Godric's Hollow. They'd moved the memorial further along the street so people could pay their respects and worked from old photographs to try and replicate as much as they could what it once was. Once I emerged in the living room where I'd left my trunk and owl I gazed around the house with a little sadness that I wouldn't see it for a few months. I clutched my belongings and flooed back, my eyes filming ever so slightly with tears.

* * *

><p>All the teachers stood outside the doors to the Great Hall, ready to enter the feast. Wood had decided that all the school (except the first years) should enter the hall first and be seated, then the teachers should follow and be seated. We turned the form a line towards the door and as we walked in I couldn't help but admire the woman who was in front of me. She had a load of curly brown hair falling down her back, and despite her robes you could clearly see a thin yet curly frame underneath them. I made a mental note to myself to remember about her so maybe we could talk some time. I thought I would be sitting next to her but just as I was about to catch her face as we sat down Hagrid came in front of me and blocked my view as she wandered further down the table to her place.<p>

"Hello Harry" Hagrid boomed, wearing his usual moleskin coat and a wide grin.

"Hi Hagrid" I replied trying to keep disappointment out of my voice as he gave me a bone crushing hug.

"You alrigh'? Is yer Lily comin' up this time?" Hargrid asked, beaming.

"Yeah" I smiled. "She's very nervous"

"I can imagine, you were too Harry" Hagrid laughed, his booming laugh causing people to stare.

Wood indicated for everyone to sit down at the sight of the deputy head, Flitwick, and the crowd of terrified looking first years, before they walked into the hall gazing around in wonder. I could remember looking at the ceiling in particular, which a lot of them were doing, and just generally taking in the air of magic that surrounds this place and wondering whether I was dreaming still.

Then the Sorting hat was placed on it's usual stool and the sorting began. First to be called out was "Michael Abercrombie" who was sorted into Gryffindor, giving a great cheer from the red and gold clad table and a relieved expression on his face. Along the sorting went, I only particularly listening out for names that were familiar to me such as when "Benjamin Finnigan" I focused more to see the spit image of Seamus sit on the chair. I grinned to myself wondering whether he would have a tendency to blow things up as his father had. Benjamin Finnigan was also sorted into Gryffindor. With a jolt I also heard the name Colin Creevey and looked up in confusion, when I realised that of course Dennis had survived the war. I still felt sadness about Colin, he was too young to have died. I also heard the name Rebecca Boot, who looked suspicously like Susan Bones making me think that perhaps Terry and her got together, she was as her mother was, sorted into Hufflepuff. When Vincent Goyle was called I couldn't help but glare at the boulder like boy making his way up to the hat, he was surprisingly made a Hufflepuff- which was extremely unexpected and I couldn't help but wonder whether whoever Goyle married was a Hufflepuff.

Scorpius Malfoy was called, and he rose to the stool smirking towards the teachers table at someone I couldn't see- he looked a lot like his father, slicked black platinum hair and all. As was with his father, the hat barely touched his head when it called Slytherin. The unpleasant table cheered and he strutted over to them, a smirk still plastered on his face. Finally Lily was called up, she looked up and gave me a nervous smile before sitting on the stool, her feet banging together. Hagrid looked at me and smiled, nervous for me. "Gryffindor" the hat shouted and she beamed at me once more before joining the roaring table, and sitting next to her brothers who gave her a hug.

"I knew it Harry, where else would she be?" Hagrid roared, clapping loudly with a tear in his eye.

Denise Sloper was up not long after that, and I could remember her father being on the Quidditch team with me at one point so clapped loudly at her becoming a Ravenclaw. Finally the last name called was "Hugo Weasley" and I could see him tensing his jaw like Hermione does as he walked up to the stool, he also flashed a smile at the table. Who was there that was making these people smile? It was probably Wood, I decided, he was a Quidditch star not that long ago after all. That Weasley was also a Gryffindor like the long line of them had also been, with relief flooding his face he half ran and joined the table to receive a hug from his sister and for all his cousins to congratulate him.

Once the hat and stool were taken away and Oliver Wood stood up to address the school, who feel silent when he stood up there.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts everyone, to returning pupils and new! Even though I've been here a year now it still feels like yesterday that I was walking through those doors in robes that drowned me" he paused for a second to allow people to laugh, "I would like to make some announcements, the first being the new head boy and girl. Our new head boy and girl are Ted Lupin and Louisa Hopkirk!"

Teddy rose from the Hufflepuff table to cheers from his fellow Hufflepuffs and Louisa rose from Ravenclaw. They flashed each other a grin, before walking up to where Wood stood at the podium to shake their hands and award their badges. Louisa flashed him a very pretty smile, which did not go unnoticed by Victorie Weasley who's eyes reddened slightly not dissimilar to the veela at the Quidditch World Cup.

"Wooooo! Go Teddy" she shouted from the Gryffindor table, making all the Slytherins laugh, which caused Teddy great embarrassment. I felt extremely sorry for him because I knew what happened to him when he got embarrassed, which did happen, his currently black hair went a shocking red- making them laugh harder and other houses joining in. Louisa grabbed his arm and steered him to his table, where he flashed her a gratful smile and sat down his hair returning back to its usual colour whilst his love interest scowled from the red and gold table.

"Ok, next I would like to announce two new staff changes. First of all we sadly say goodbye to our Potions Master Penelope Clearwater as she has decided to take a job in the Ministry, we wish all the best to her. Now I would like to welcome her successor, who has changed a lot since his time at this very castle. I'd like to welcome Draco Malfoy"

My mouth literally fell open as I realised who I'd seen a glimpse of in the Entrance Hall, Hagrid exchanged a shocked glance with me. I shook my head and glanced at his son who was smirking and clapping regally, like he was royalty.

"Our next staff appointment," Wood continued a little louder, over the whispering that had broken out all over the hall. "Will be to replace our Transfiguration Professor, Rosaline Murphy who at the age of 70 feels it would be appropriate to retire. Her successor will be a student whose name you will probably recognise from history books, and as a known friend of one of our teachers here-"

Wood turned to look at me, making the students glance at me too- who was he talking about?

"Of course I'm talking about no other than Hermione Granger!"

The hall erupted in much more enthusiastic clapping for this appointment and excited whispers were heard all around, whilst Hugo and Rose beamed. How could I have not known that she would be working here? I glanced up to look at her, and got the shock of my life as I realised she was the very woman I had been checking out. Shit. That was not good, not good at all. I'd been intending to floo Ron later to tell him what house Hugo had got into, as he would of wanted to know but now I definitely had to. I zoned out whilst the notices were given and warnings about what Filch would and would not allow into the school."

After the speech concluded the feast began but I didn't even feel that hungry, my mind was reeling. Absentmindedly I filled my plate with food and ate it, not really concentrating it was Hagrid who brought me to focus.

"Did yer know Hermione was goin' to be workin' here?" he asked, sounding delighted.

"No" I replied honestly "I haven't- well me or Ron really, haven't really spoken to her for a year"

Hagrid looked shocked. "After everythin' yer lot have bin through?"

"People grow up and grow apart I guess" I shrugged, slightly sadly.

"Well maybe things'll change if she's gon' be here" Hagrid said, shaking his head sadly.

"Maybe"

* * *

><p>I stared at the fireplace with anticipation in my stomach as I called "The Burrow", I wasn't sure how Ron would take the news. Bending down, I put my head in the fire and was slightly annoyed to see that they were all still there, that'd make things even harder.<p>

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley called, beaming, as she saw me in the fire. I could see in the background a few heads turning to see Ginny's reaction, but of course the heartless bitch shrugged to show how little she cared.

"Mrs. Weasley" I greeted her, smiling back "Hi everyone" I greeted the rest of the family. Ron walked forward to sit in the armchair in front of the fire.

"Well? What house did he get in?"

I decided to mess with them for a moment. "Slytherin" I said apologetically, they all looked at each other shocked and Ron looked disappointed for a moment.

But then I grinned and said "Only joking, what house do you think she's in?"

I saw relief fill Ron's face, before he leant forward and flicked my head. "Ow"

"Oh Harry what are you like" Mrs. Weasley laughed, flashing me her usual fond smile.

"If I'd have done that she'd have killed me!" George joked, grinning over at me, which I returned.

"Yeah well Harry was the "Chosen One" after all" Ginny said spitefully, which earned her a reproachful look from her mother.

"So does Hermione know?" Ron asked, awkwardly, whilst Mrs. Weasley still had a flash of anger in her eyes at the name.

"Yeah that's something else I want to talk to you about" I said, just as awkwardly.

"Why what's happened?" Ron asked, concern flooding his face whilst it paled considerably.

"She's working at Hogwarts mate" I told him, watching his reaction. His face was blank with shock, then he seemed a little angry.

"Why didn't she tell me?" he demanded, as if I would know the answer.

"I don't know mate, I left as soon as the feast was over to tell you because if I'm honest I was too shocked to talk to her"

"No wonder she didn't show up at the platform" he said bitterly, standing up and pacing the room.

I heard a knock, and when nobody went for the door I assumed it was from my end.

"Look I gotta go, someone's at the door, I'll keep you updated on news"

"Alright, thanks anyway"

"Bye everyone" I shouted at the mass of red hair in the room.

They all shouted bye back except Bitch of course, and I pulled my head out and walked over to the door. Wondering who it was I opened the door to find who I'd been avoiding.

"Hello Harry" she said quietly, biting her lip.

"Hello Hermione" I sighed, standing aside to let her into my chambers and back into my life.


	3. Chapter 2 Re Offender

_**This has been re-uploaded and the ending of it was changed, I tried to defend what I had done but to be quite honest it was the most I was capable of at the early hours of the morning and was desperate to update. Sorry this isn't a new chapter, just changed the ending of it. Thankyou for the negative feedback, because it made me look back and realise how tacky that writing was. Malfoy will remain in the story, as the antagonist, but just that. Sorry about this not being a proper update, just rectifying mistakes. **_

**Chapter Song: Re-offender- Travis**

**A/N By the way, flashbacks will be in italics. I think it doesn't look great putting "Start Flashback" and "End Flashback". The flashback of this chapter will be from the point of view of Hermione.**

Hermione walked into my chambers and stood awkwardly in the living room, looking round at her surroundings. It was hard to believe it was Hermione, she'd grown more adult obviously while we were still speaking but she never particularly flaunted it. Her hair was tamed and just long, lush and curly like off a hair advert, she was wearing makeup- it was only light but she never used to wear it. She used to dress quite chaste and frumpy, years ahead of what she could have been wearing. But now she dressed to flaunt her skinny, yet curvy frame as she wore a jumper which hugged at her especially at her- No! I need to stop noticing that, it's really not right- I distracted myself.

"So are you staying long?" I asked, that came out a lot harsher than intended.

Her little smile she'd been wearing faltered. "Oh...er...I was hoping to talk to you but if you don't want me here-"

"No, no" I interrupted, not meaning to say that to her so coldly. "I meant I can get us some butterbeer or something if you are?"

"Oh, that'd be nice" she said, smile returning.

"Okay, well you can go sit over there" I replied, indicating to the living room area.

I left the room, and headed down to the kitchens my mind reeling still. It was hard to know what to say to her after it had been so long since we'd spoken, I knew as well that she was here to explain what had happen, to try and make everything okay again but it couldn't be. This daunting feeling fell over me when she walked in, like suddenly everything was going to change and there was nothing I could do to stop it. With a heavy sigh I tickled the pear on the portrait which concealed the door to the kitchen then stepped through once it admitted me. As always the house elves were eager to offer lots of food, but I would only take some butterbeers. When I made it back to my chambers I saw Hermione was not seated but looking at one of the photographs on the mantelpiece.

She heard the door shut and span round, looking like a naughty school girl. "I'm sorry, I was just-"

"Being nosy" I finished, using my wand to pop the bottlecaps off the top and pass her one. Hermione blushed deeply then went back and sat down, on the very edge of the couch as if she was ready to leave at any moment. I sat at the chair next to her and drank deeply.

We drank in silence for a moment, before I got slightly annoyed. "Hermione, what do you want?"

She looked up at me nervously, like she was on trial. "We need to talk"

"What about?" I asked, feigning ignorance, she had to say it herself.

"About what's happened between me and Ron" she replied, her thumb tracing the top of bottle.

"You say "what's happened" but as far as I knew, you two sleeping together never meant anything so nothing could happen."

Hermione sighed, her hand pinching at the bridge of her nose. "Okay then, why we don't speak at all now"

"Okay" I accepted that.

"It started last summer..."

* * *

><p><em>His bed was warm and comfy, as always, and the feel of his warm body next to mine made me feel at home and happy. I had awoken from my nap surprised that I could not hear his snores, but I could only hear breathing suggesting to me that he was awake. So he would not notice that I was awake I opened an eye just a crack to check. His brown eyes were watching me sleep, his mouth curved into a little smile, his expression was one of which I dreaded him having, it was terrifying. I felt it would be best to pretend I was waking up, so I yawned and stretched, in a way it was almost fake and comedic. <em>

_"Morning beautiful," Ron said softly, leaning over to kiss me softly on the lips. "How did you sleep?"_

_"Well thank you, yourself?"_

_"I slept briefly, I was too distracted by having you here" he smiled, his ears reddening at the confession but he had matured so much beyond who he was at Hogwarts._

_I smiled back and he rose, excusing himself to go to the toilet, I felt myself cough and could smell my breath was not too great. Ron always kept two things in his top draw next to his bed condoms and mints, both had been used in the past few hours. I opened the draw and felt around for the little box, I found a box and pulled it out- but it wasn't the right box, this box was velvet lined. Shocked, I slowly opened it to find the very thing which I'd been dreading. It was funny how the most beautiful things could be the most scary, like Veela's were evil despite their beauty. Men were terrified of having babies, and they were beautiful. Now I was terrified of a sparkling engagement ring, and that was definitely beautiful._

_Ron opened the bedroom door to find me simply staring at the ring, shock apparent in my eyes._

_"Shit Hermione, that's not how I wanted it to go," he said, his ears reddening even more._

_"It's okay" I whispered, fighting back tears._

_He walked over and stopped at the bed, leaning over once more to give another kiss, _I closed my eyes slightly and savored that last kiss, before it was all over. Gently he removed the box from my hand and shut it, getting on one knee and holding the box with a trembling hand. __

__"Hermione Jean Granger, you know I'm not great with words and I usually butcher them but I'll do my best. I've been a twat to you several times over the years and It's inexcusable, but now I want to make up for all the times I've made you cry and made you feel bad. Because I love you, and I think we've been coasting for too long now. Me and you... we're destined to be together, we always find our way. It was your voice I heard in the deluminator sixteen years ago, nobody elses. 'Mione, I want you and only you, so me, you, Hugo and Rose... we can be a proper family. Hermione, will you marry me?" __

__I choked back my tears, a huge part of me desperately wanted to say yes, but I knew that wasn't real. That was just my wish to get married, to settle down with children, but I knew it wouldn't be right to do that to him. Ron was one of the most amazing men I'd ever met, which was why I had to let him go. My feelings changed too quickly, and in the end I would hurt him more than breaking it now would.__

__"I can't" I said, my voice a strangled sob.__

__His face fell, then he attempted to pick his expression up slightly. "Is it the way I did it? Because I can do it more romantically another time, have it be a surprise"__

__"No that's not it, you were perfect, you always are. It's me Ron, I can't be with you you need more than I can ever give you" this was the hardest thing I ever had to do, I'd take those months finding horcruxes x3 over this.__

__"But I love you 'Mione, and I know you love me too" he was crying too now, great. Ronald Bilius Weasley never cries over anything, except deaths obviously, and now he chose to do it making the hardest thing of my life even harder.__

__"But I'm not **in **love with you" my voice was barely distinguishable by this point.__

__"Then what the hell are we doing here Hermione?" his voice was a mixture of pain and anger. I deserved his reaction to be like this, I knew I did.__

__"I...I...don't know"__

__He sat down heavily on the bed, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, his breathing shallow and slow. I climbed up the bed to try and comfort him, but he shied away from my touch. A shiver down his spine.__

__"I'm not good enough for you, and I'll only hurt you, you need better" I told him.__

__"Or maybe you don't want to love me. I'm too poor, too short tempered, not clever enough" he said, bitterness filling his tone.__

__I held him from behind, my head on his shoulder and wouldn't let him shy away this time.__

__"You are one of the bravest, most perfect men I have ever known. Ron, you are handsome, funny, strong, kind and everything any woman could want. I promise. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do"__

__"But you don't want me" his voice cracked. __

__"I don't deserve you, I want to fall in love with you, I truly do but I can't and I'm so sorry for that" I sobbed, holding him close to me.__

__"Well if you tried" he said sarcastically.__

__With a sigh I knew that was all the reasoning I could do with him for now, I stood up and picked up my clothes. Clothes which had been thrown on the floor in front of the bed in our passion, that felt like hours ago now. He watched me redress myself with eyes full of pain. Once I was dressed I walked forward and held his face in my hand, gazing into those brown eyes I knew so well.__

__"I care about you so much, if I thought that was enough with you I'd stay, but this isn't good for the children, it isn't good that we don't know what we want with each other" I said, trying not to cry again.__

__"I could of waited for you" Ron said, the harshness dissolving slightly.__

__"You could of, but you shouldn't. We aren't meant to be together, sometimes life works out that way"__

_He didn't answer, so I kissed him on the forehead and walked out the room, as I left I swore I could hear a tiny voice say "I'll miss you" and as I disapperated that was the one thing which finally broke my fragile heart._

* * *

><p>"Does that tie up with what he told you then?" Hermione asked me, after recounting everything.<p>

"Well he didn't tell me much about it if I'm honest, it was raw then- then again it still is a painful subject for him. When I asked he told me "I proposed and told her I love her and she said no, she said she couldn't fall in love with me and that I deserved better"." I replied

I had no idea of what truly happened, but I knew deep down Hermione couldn't honestly break his heart and not really feel anything herself. Part of me blamed her though, I couldn't understand how she could care for someone but not be in love with them- or think they would fall in love with them some day. It was hard to accept, and for her to appear so suddenly in his life after so long. Ron had spent months depressed and drinking, she took the kids off him and looked after them for months because he was too depressed. How they couldn't have spoken in that time confused me.

"How could you not speak to him in those months of depression?" I asked, once again it came out angrier and more accusatory than intended. Perhaps I was saying what I truly thought when I spoke like that.

"Because I saw the pain in his eyes at the mere mention of me, I thought if I stayed away he would move on" she said, her voice quiet. "Has he, moved on that is?"

I looked up at her and considered her for a moment, I could protect his pride and talk of a girlfriend but I knew Hermione was too perceptive to believe that and it would be cruel. They'd been best friends once, after all.

"No"

"Right"

"The thing I don't get, is that you never tried to speak to me either!" I said suddenly, I didn't even know I was going to say it. Tonight my mouth was speaking ahead of my mind, saying the things I wanted to say but daren't.

Tears formed in her eyes at those words, and the way they were said. I had my guard severely up tonight. "You didn't try to speak to me either Harry, it's a two way street"

"That was in respect for Ron, I figured you'd changed. Couldn't be bothered with us." I spat, standing up.

Hermione was getting angry now too, and stood up as well. "Don't give me that rubbish, I left Ron because I knew just having sex every so often and pushing us away from who we truly were meant to be with was wrong to us and the children."

"Pfft!" I exclaimed, my temper getting the better of me too. "I bet you had a bit on the side, had a bit of both. Then I bet you chose some random other man, and it didn't work out so you ran off here"

She slapped me, hard. I could understand Malfoy's reaction in their third year now. "You're just defensive because of Ginny! That's what your problem is! You are just upset because she didn't want the "Famous Harry Potter" anymore!"

That one was a low blow, and it smarted. Hermione saw the damage that claim had left, it was ten times worse than the ill-constructed accusation I gave.

"Get out" I snarled, opening the door. She stalked past me and I slammed the door behind her.

The worst part was, I realised as I lay in bed, there was an element of truth into what she was saying. Also something weirdly enough felt worse about the fact that it had come from her. That night, I didn't get much sleep at all.

* * *

><p>The next morning all the staff were to come down to the staffroom early, to receive our timetables for classes. I was dreading seeing her, but planned to pretend she didn't exist, I knew I was probably in the wrong for being so guarded and cold towards her in the first place but I wasn't ready to deal with it yet. There was a day full of lessons to deal with, before I could think about any personal problems going on. When I entered everyone was already there, and I could feel very familiar brown eyes on me, I avoided their gaze and walked over to Wood to take my timetable before going and sitting next to Neville.<p>

"Who have you got first?" he asked me, leaning over to look at my timetable.

"A double with the Slytherin and Gryffindor fifth years" I groaned.

"Isn't your son in that one, James?" Neville asked.

"Exactly. And Victoire" I sighed, and Neville grinned.

Those two students were infamous in the school, for two different reasons. James was for his troublemaking attitude, so like his Grandfather it was unbelievable, and his smart mouth and teacher father. Victorie, well, let's just say even the teachers knew that she was known for opening her legs and not for anything educational. They were both pain in the asses, and for them both to be in the same class with Slytherins was everything I didn't need for the first morning of each week.

"What about you?" I asked, studying his timetable.

"First years, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff"

"Oh well that's alright, especially having your own house" I shrugged, then thought on. "Could you keep an eye on Lily for me?"

"Of course I can, she'll be fine Harry" Neville reassured me, before Wood stepped forward to begin the staff meeting.

xox

"Have you seen her skirt, it's practically like everyone wants to see her ginger bush" I heard some random Slytherin girl comment cattily, from the other side of the classroom.

"Ten points from Slytherin, and Victoire- pull that skirt down or that will be ten from Gryffindor too" both parties scowled and one of the two pulled her skirt down, unabashed.

For the last half an hour of the double they were subjected to reading textbooks. James had decided that acting like a complete and utter twat would need to be a torture added an hour into the double rather than getting it out the way in the beginning. I could tell him and Shane Thomas, yes that is Dean Thomas' brother, a relation of him of all people, thought themselves to be the new marauders or something. Most of the time I loved my son, when him and Shane got together I wanted to kill him and now his father had gotten back together with Ginny, him too.

James had decided that halfway through me explaining how to cast a Protego that it would be funny to throw a Filibuster's firework at the shield causing it to explode and throw back all of the items in the classroom. I was not in the mood for it, especially the aftermath where Nathan Nott and his gang of Slytherin goons decided to send curses over at James. At first I was confused, he would not defend me, then he started yelling about how he destroyed whichever ridiculous creation he'd been making to disrupt the class himself. So 40 deducted housepoints later the classroom had been restored to order and they were to read from books, in silence, the silence only being broken by some snotty looking Slytherin.

I couldn't wait for the end of the double, it was wrong of me to hate a class but this class was like living hell which they kept giving to me year after year. Nott and James had hated each other from their first year, it was so like seeing me and Malfoy it was unbelievable. That was another horrific thing about this year, having to work alongside Draco Malfoy. He may have slowly worked his way up to being a respectable member of the community again but that didn't mean I liked him any more than I had at school.

Finally the bell rang and they all fled out of there faster than a firebolt, except James who'd been kept behind for a fatherly telling off.

James sauntered up to my desk and sat on it, his eyebrows raised and waiting for me to say something.

"James, it's the first day" I said exasperatedly.

"I noticed" he smirked.

"Can it, I'm not in the mood" I snarled at him. "This is your most important year so far, you have your O.W.L.S coming up! You can't afford to act like an annoying second year. You need to study, work hard"

"And I will do... nearer the time" James grinned, but it fell slightly when he saw I wasn't in the mood. "Look I'll leave it out of your lesson in future, I just couldn't resist"

"You leave it out of every lesson or I'll bar you from George's shop, you hear me?" I threatened.

"Yeah, okay. I'll try"

"Good" my expression softened slightly. "You live up to your names though"

James grinned at that, he loved hearing that. "Thanks dad"

I nodded, ruffling his hair, then walked to the door to let him out and admit my next class.

oOo

For the rest of the day my mind was plagued by guilt about Hermione, when I was teaching I didn't think about it but when I had time to sit quietly it hit me. I knew I was out of order being so cold with her, but I was hurting for me and Ron. A few seats were empty at dinner including Hermione's which made my mind stray back to her, I'd missed her as a friend so pushing her away and acting on someone else's behalf wasn't appropriate. It bugged me a bit how much I was thinking about her, when we fell out in the past I was never _that _bad. But this time I just wanted to see her again. I abandoned my dinner and strolled purposefully out of the hall, I knew she would probably still be working in her office so I headed that way.

With a deep breath I reached her office, my breathing shallow and uneven. If I had been thinking about her all day, this had to be done, I told myself- then I knocked.

"Come in" Hermione sighed, waving her wand at the door to open it. "Oh Harry" she finished in surprise.

"Hey" I said awkwardly, shutting the door behind me and walking over to her desk.

She hastily stuff a piece of parchment in her draw and looked up at me, slightly flustered. "Sit down"

I placed myself on the seat opposite her, feeling like I always did when Dumbledore called me to his office. "I wanted to apologise about the fact that I never really gave you a chance to explain yourself the other night"

Hermione considered me, looking a little surprised that I'd apologised. She didn't look her age at all, she could easily pass off for twenty, her eyes were still bright like there was magic brewing behind them. Unlike She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named who was starting to get lines around her eyes, not that I'd look anywhere near her eyes anymore of course.

"I'm sorry too, I don't know what I was expecting really. He's your best friend, of course you would be upset for him. I was more upset for him than me," she said, interrupting my thoughts.

"I never thought this was how things would end up" I said sadly, looking up into those brown eyes I knew well.

"Thirty odd, and seperated with children, me neither" Hermione said, also sadly, meeting my eyes- and smiling a little when she did.

"Not even that really, though I wouldn't have. They called us "The Golden Trio" in all the papers then, we'd gone through seven hard years together. We beat the darkest wizard the world has ever known together. But we couldn't get through children," I sighed, flattening my hair as I always did.

Hermione bit her lip and said "Love will tear us apart"

"Didn't have you for a Joy Division fan Hermione" I confessed, then again we never really spoke of music. I'd never been interested in it when I was young, I had no way of listening to it really.

She smiled "My dad had the cds, I was brought up on a diet of Joy Division and Nirvana"

"Cheerful" I grinned, her smile widened also.

"Sorry we aren't all Weird Sisters fans like you Harry" Hermione teased back, it was a bit more like old times. Tentative, but better than things had been in a long time.

We sat in silence for a little while, still grinning like fools.

"Do you think we will ever get back to being best friends again?" she asked, in a small voice.

"I don't know" I said heavily, when I looked at her I didn't quite see the little sister thing I'd once seen and the feeling was different and unsettling. I could only assume that was from us not speaking for so long.

"I missed you Potter" Hermione sighed, reaching across the table and grabbing my hand and squeezing it. When she did I felt like a jolt went through me, and when she smiled at me it dimmed a little.

"You too Granger, you too"

We caught up on things for the rest of the night, she told me about her various additions to Hogwarts a History and recommended I check it out of the library. But I of course reminded her that I'd never read it when I was a student, and probably never would. I told her of my assistance of the Auror Department that I did now, after retiring from my Auror career. When I left, quite late, I felt a lot lighter. But unexplainable confusion hung over me, all I knew for sure was that I had missed Hermione Granger a lot more than I realised.


	4. Chapter 3 Read My Mind

**Chapter Song: Read My Mind- The Killers**

**I meant to get this out sooner, but I've been distracted I'm afraid. Anyway here is a bit of a teenage angsty chapter, and a shameless excuse to give Harry and Hermione a bit more sorting out time. Thankyou for the story alerts and reviews. Enjoy :).**

The next day started a hell of a lot better than the day before, mainly because the class I had was so much better than the other. Today I had the one I was looking forward to the most, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw first years! I would get a chance to see Lily, and I couldn't wait. So there I was, sat on my desk, hearing them all collecting outside and opening the door with my wand. With these I would be laid back, as they were only first years after all. Craning my neck I spotted that bright red waterfall of hair, then looked towards what I was expecting to be a happy face. I was incorrect about that. Lily Luna Potter had a face like a sullen teenager as she shot forward from the door to sit on the back row of the class, in between Denise Sloper and Benjamin Finnigan.

Unnerved slightly, but nevertheless having to do my lesson I began. "Welcome to first year Defence Against the Dark Arts..."

Throughout the whole lesson Lily contributed nothing, I'd been worried she would disrupt the class the look on her face. But nothing, I doubted she was even listening. But on her first week I couldn't exactly call her out when she wasn't being particularly disruptive. At one point when I'd set the class to practicing Lumos, which they'd been surprisingly pleased with- then again I could only assume they didn't expect to be practicing any spell minor or major on their first lesson, I attempted to talk to her.

"Hey Lily, how are you finding Lumos?" I asked, smiling at her.

Lily looked up at me and waved her wand once and said "Lumos" it lit instantly unlike the other wands. "Easy" she said in a bored voice, with a harsh edge.

"Oh that's good, should we share it with the class?" I asked, I knew how pathetic I sounded but she was as terrifying as her mother when she was annoyed.

"No, it's not worth that" she said in a slightly menacing voice.

I took that as my cue to leave. "Oh.. well... well done...10 points to Gryffindor..." I faltered, walking swiftly to the right where Benjamin was shaking his wand fiercely whilst a daunting spark lit at the tip.

At the end of the lesson I called her to see me, to ask her what was up but she ignored my call, threw her hair in her eyes and stomped out of the classroom. It was unlike Lily to be this moody, and it only seemed to be aimed at me. When they had been practicing before I came to talk to her, she and Denise were having a laugh- the moment I went to speak to her her smile fell and the sulky look returned. I would find out by the end of the day what was up with her.

oOo

That evening I attempted to corner her after dinner but was unsucessful, she pushed past me and stormed off in an identical fashion to how she did in class earlier. So I upped my game, as head of Gryffindor entering their common room whenever I liked was no problem whatsoever. Doing it after curfew was even better, because everyone would be- or should be, in the common room at that point. I approached the fat lady who winked at me as I said the password.

When the door swung open she said flirtatiously "My, my, my Mr. Potter you've certainly gotten handsome"

I cringed slightly as I walked through, I couldn't see how i was still the scrawny, speccy git I'd been when I was at Hogwarts but each to their own I guess. When I stepped in I did a quick scan of the common room but only saw my second eldest. With the eyes of the whole house on me I casually strolled over to Albus, who I was noticed with a slight smirk was hurriedly scrawling his obviously late homework on a piece of parchment- something I could remember well, when I reached him he looked up with an arrogance more suited to James.

"Hey Al, have you seen Lily?" I asked, very aware of his two friends watching me.

"Yeah, a couple of times. She is my sister after all" Albus smirked in reply, his two cronies sniggering.

Inwardly I sighed, he'd began acting out recently for no obvious reason. But I bit my impatience, I had to tackle one problem at a time. "I mean tonight, in the past hour"

Albus' smirk grew wider as he leaned back cockily on his chair. "She went running up the stairs to her dorm the second you stepped in"

"Thanks" I said, resisting the urge to shake him for his attitude.

I went to turn away, but Albus clearly hadn't finished. "She's really pissed off at you"

Turning back around I raised my eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Lily is really PISSED off at you" he spelt out, in a patronizing manor.

"What makes you think you are allowed to swear at me?" I asked him, annoyance definitely clouding my controlled calm. His new found attitude was irritating me no end.

"You swear all the time" Albus shrugged.

"Whatever. 5 points from Gryffindor and if I hear you do it again I swear I will owl your mother" I warned him, finally turning away from what was now a thunderstruck face. In the corner of my eye I saw two fingers stuck up at me. Taking a leaf out of Molly Weasley's book I flipped my wand behind my back and jinxed his two fingers together- with a yell from Albus.

Ignoring him I faced the staircase and ascended it, then turned to take the one which leads to the Girl's Dormitory forgetting just one little flaw. Boys could not go up it. The stairs transformed into a slide sending me flying back down and landing on my ass. Ringing around me were the laughs of the majority of the house as I stood up and threw them a menacing glare. This time I took out the my wand, tapped the banister and murmered. "I am head of Gryffindor house, and there is a girl who needs my help". Immediately the slide returned to stairs and with a smirk to myself at the suddenly quieter common room I carried on my trip.

When I found Lily's dormitory I quietly opened the door to see six beds, one with the curtains shut around it. On the bed next to it sat a girl with long black hair who was looking worried, upon seeing me she opened her mouth but stopped once i drew a finger to my lips. Then I pointed to the door and she nodded, making her way out. Before she did I mouthed "5 points to Gryffindor", after all I didn't want my own house to lose points because of my own son.

Gently I pulled back the curtains. "Please just leave me alone Hilary! I'll talk about it later!"

When the curtains carried on opening she looked up to see me, and scowled. "How did you get up here?"

"I'm Head of House, I can beat a lousy staircase," I grinned, sitting opposite her on the bed.

Lily was sat with her knees brought up and she had her face buried in them, her hair fanning all over so I couldn't see her face. It was odd really how much James and Lily represented their namesakes. Lily was the spit image of her grandmother, gaining long red hair from Ginny and my eyes resulted in a startlingly accurate reincarnation of Lily Potter. James was the same, looking the same as me meaning he was practically James potter- but he chose different glasses. Albus was the only one who truly was like a combination of Ginny and I. He had Ginny's eyes, but my hair. Ginny's facial structure but a body like mine (sorry!). I loved all my children and each could be linked back to both parents.

"Famous Harry Potter" Lily mumbled, head still in her knees.

I sighed, she knew I hated being treated like I was something special. "What's wrong Lily?"

Lily stayed quiet for about a minute, just when I was about to ask again she rose her head and stared at me- our identical eyes meeting. "You never came to see me yesterday, it was my first day and you didn't care. You sent James a letter- even though you were doing an Auror job, and you brought Albus to your chambers to talk about it. But me, nothing. When you got up after dinner I thought you'd be coming to ask me, but you didn't you walked past me like I wasn't there"

Guilt coursed through me, I was so mad at myself. My mind had been so focused on Hermione I never bothered to ask, I felt like the worst Dad in the world. When I finally allowed myself to look into those eyes again all I could see was disappointment, not even tears in them. Pure disappointment.

"I'm so, so sorry honey. I'd had a fall out with Hermione and I felt really bad. I didn't mean to I promise, if I hadn't have had that on my mind I definitely would have come to you" I said, skirting round to the head of the bed to put an arm round my daughter.

At first she squirmed away, but gave in and fell into me; her bright hair across my chest. Absentmindedly I threaded my fingers through it and could see a hint of a smile on her face. "It's okay" Lily said quietly.

"Why don't you tell me about it now?" I asked, settling in for the long haul. Once she got started she was hard to stop.

"Oh well okay." she pretended to act like she wasn't sure if she should talk that much about herself, which was a front of course.

"Weeeelllll... I went down to breakfast which was really cool and yummy and then you came and gave me my timetable and I had Neville- I mean Professor Longbottom first! I went there and he was sooo nice to me even though I didn't know what half the plants were but Hugo did he is so smart just like Rose. Then he asked me how I was doing and I told him how great Hogwarts is and he agreed even though he said he didn't like it much in his first year but whatever" Lily recited practically all in one breath.

"Then we had double with the Slytherins in Potions which sucked but everyone thought Professor Malfoy would favor them but he didn't really that much he even gave out points to Gryffindors so maybe he is different from Snape. At dinner I sat with my new friend Hillary. Oh yeah I made loads of friends i thought I'd just have to stick with my cousins but I didn't! I talk to Hillary and Denise and Ben Finnigan as well then there's the other 3 girls in here Carly, Sam and Monica they are really cool but we aren't proper friends yet because I haven't known them long enough. The other Gryffindor boys are dead cool too they always want to make us laugh!"

"Well that's good" I butt in before my ear dropped off. "Though no dating boys just yet lady!" I said sternly, tickling her neck and making her squeal.

"Stop it daddy!" Lily squealed, when I did she carried on. "Then at night when I was annoyed that you didn't come see me James played wizards chess with me even though all his friends were trying to get him to go throw dungbombs at Mrs. Norris. And Albus stole James's map thingy so I wouldn't get lost"

"That was nice of him, did he mention where he got the map?" I asked, amused.

Lily turned to look at me, her eyes filled with suspicion. "Why are you grinning like that Dad, do you know about the map or something?"

"Or something" I replied, rising from the bed. "I hope the rest of the week is good, come see me whenever you like. And I have a spare bedroom if you want to stay with me at any point"

"Thanks Dad, but this weekend we are having an all-nighter in our dorm us girls"

"Any time you want" I smiled, kissing her on her head and leaving the Dormitory, feeling lighter.

* * *

><p>The next day Hermione approached me after lunch as I was heading off towards the toilets hoping to relieve myself before my next class arrived after lunch. As I was heading out of the doors of the Great Hall I heard my name be shouted.<p>

"Harry!"

I turned round expected it to be a student or something, but found my old friend. Hermione was half-running towards me with her faced screwed up in nerves.

"What's up?" I asked, addressing her as she hurried to a stop in front of me, as always clutching several books.

"Erm I was wondering whether you wanted to have dinner at mine tonight? Try and work towards what we once had? Of course you probably don't want to but if you do I just..." it was odd seeing Hermione so unsure of herself, she always knew what to do and what the logical way to go about things was but today she seemed stumped.

"No, no. It sounds good!" I assured her with a smile, which she returned weakly.

"I was hoping you'd say that- come mine for six"

"See you then" then I waved her off and half ran to the place I was craving the most at that moment.

**x-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;x**

Two lessons, ten shirts and a walk to the Transfiguration part of the school and I was finally ready for a meal with Hermione Granger. I had spent a ridiculously long time searching for a shirt to wear for the evening, I wasn't sure why I was so keen to impress but somehow I felt I should. I produced a bouquet of flowers out of thin air and knocked on her chambers door, nervously flattening down my hair with my other hand. Hermione opened the door, looking radiant in a high waisted skirt and blouse, flaunting long, womanly legs and a tiny waist.

"Come in," Hermione beamed at me, seeming a lot calmer down. "I love your shirt"

"You look beautiful" I complimented back, enjoying seeing her go pink, as I passed her the bouquet which she inhaled deeply.

"I love roses and these smell particularly beautiful, thank you" Hermione commented, summoning a vase non verbally and placing the flowers in it.

I had never been in the Transfiguration chambers before, having not been on best terms with the particular teacher in charge of that area. The living room was a bit smaller than mine, but had bigger windows and plusher carpets. Hermione had decorated the fireplace with pictures, like I had. Her walls had different paintings on, one I recognized to be Van Gogh's famous "Sunflowers". The room had a bright and airy feel, even the air felt light and smelt of lavender. On the coffee table a book lay which I went and examined while Hermione bustled around in the kitchen area with the meal.

The book was leather bound and a deep ruby red, with a slightly magical aura around it. When I examined it closer I saw on the cover in gold writing "Transfiguration Teachers of Hogwarts". I opened it and flicked through, seeing unfamiliar faces of teachers from centuries ago flicking forward to more recent times. I first recognized Albus Dumbledore, looking younger with a shorter beard with his eye twinkling through the frame, I felt a little sadness as I always did when I saw anything to do with Dumbledore. Next I found Minerva Mcgonagall also looking younger, her hair a dark brown and she gazed sternly out the frame at me. After that I flicked ahead to look into the eyes of Hermione Granger, who gave me a beam from behind the frame. Her eyes were happy, but you could see the pain in her eyes from everything she had been through-

"Did you get one of these?" I jumped at the sound of the real life Hermione Granger behind me, her breath tickling my ear.

"Er- not that I know of" I said, regaining my breath and turning to face her.

"I think it's a good idea" Hermione shrugged, gesturing for me to join her at her little wooden table.

When I sat down at the opposite side from the table at her I looked down at the food I'd been given, she'd cooked some kind of pasta with pieces of chicken and bacon in and various vegetables. It smelled great. Digging with my fork, I drew it up to my mouth.

"Mmm Hermione, this is so nice" I sighed, taking a large bite.

Hermione grinned widely, looking pleased. "Thank you, I've never made it before so I was a little nervous about road testing it like this"

We ate in silence for a while, eating our food and sipping at glasses of wine, the silence wasn't uncomfortable. As we ate I could feel her eyes flickering at me and mine flickering back at her, smiling every time we caught each others glance. Once we had eaten we went and sat on the couch and chair, with another glass of wine and finally got down to talking.

"So, how has your first week been?" I enquired, watching her face for expression.

"Tough," Hermione admitted with a twist of her mouth. "Yours?"

"Same as usual really, other than added drama with my youngest" I grinned, contrasting to the twisted mouth she had. "What was tough about yours?"

Hermione sank her head back into the cushions of her chair before speaking, with slightly watery eyes. "Dealing with...The Weasley's has been a problem"

I wasn't expecting that, I probably should have done but I didn't. I'd assumed she would have been acting overdramatic about a troublesome class, or perhaps just a little stressed from it all.

"How so?" I asked, shuffling to the edge of the couch so I could be closer to her.

"It's just-" her voice broke at that point and the tears leaked from her eyes, she probably didn't cry about things as often and easily as she did as a child. Chose to hold them in to be the strong woman everybody needed and expected her to be. I reached my hand out and held hers, she flinched slightly at first but noticeably relaxed under my touch, even a little smile reaching her lips.

"It's just," she began again, trying to control the break in her voice as I traced her hand with my thumb. "They are all SO angry with me, all of them. Victoire is the worst, the way she hisses ugly words at me"

Hermione raised her other shaky hand to wipe her eyes. "Give her detention, you are a teacher after all"

"I cant, it's never loud enough for it to be acceptable for me to detain her. But in classes they don't do as I ask until they are threatened with detention, they sneer when they say Professor. I never did ANYTHING to any of them. I made mistakes with their uncle, but I had always been nice to them all"

"I'm sorry they are like that, they never were with me" I said honestly, which was true enough. When me and Ginny had divorced they treated me as they always had, they still called me "Uncle Harry" now. Mrs. Weasley was just as good to me as she was when I was young and stayed with them all. I felt awful that they had turned on her like that, when her and Ron were never truly together.

"It's okay, I deserve it. It's just hard to deal with that much animosity from children," Hermione choked, gripping a little tighter on my hand. "Until recently you were with them on the matter, Harry"

"No I wasn't, I was upset that you never called me Hermione. You cut us both off, when I was divorcing Ginny and could of used you" I admitted, since my divorce being vulnerable was something I hated to be but this was an occasion where I knew I should come clean.

Guilt and regret washed her face and Hermione gripped even tighter on my hand than she had, her thumb tracing mine. "I'm sorry. I thought you wouldn't want to see me, if I'd have known. I'm so-"

"Let's not do this again, I've already forgiven you okay?" I interrupted, I didn't want to rehash it again.

"Thankyou Harry, I've missed you so-"

But Hermione never finished her sentence as her chamber doors crashed open, to reveal Rose Weasley and her pretty face framed by a mane of red hair. "Hiya Mum, I was wondering whether you could help me with-"

Rose finished her sentence as she examined the scene in front of her, her eyes placing on her hand in mine, which I dropped instantly like it was hot. Clearing her throat Hermione stood, as did I and we walked over to the door.

"Hello Uncle Harry" Rose said, her face full of suspicion. I winced at the old name as I passed her at the door, but fixed it with a smile.

"Hello Rose, I'll get going now Hermione dinner was lovely" I nodded over in Hermione's direction.

"Yes, sorry that it ended so abruptly-"

I interrupted her for the second time that night, holding up my hands. "No, no it's fine I would do the same for my children."

As I turned to leave the room Rose's voice called me back, and I went to the doorway where she was stood. Her mothers eyes were narrowed at me, as she watched my face carefully.

"You need to look out for Al more" Rose told me quietly, so her mother couldn't hear her. But I could hear the harshness in her voice, I knew it was a command. A command out of care, but a command all the same.

"What do you mean?" I asked, hoping maybe she could give me insight into his recent angry behavior.

"Look, he's my cousin. So I care about him, right? Somethings bothering him and your not trying to get in with him, your letting him stew and get angrier. He won't tell me, so if you think that's your way in then it's not" Rose spoke of him the same as she spoke of Hugo, as well as her clever mind she had a big heart and really cared about her family.

"I don't know what to do, I speak to him and he talks to me with not a chip on his shoulder- but a huge hole" I sighed.

"You need to keep trying okay, don't give up on him. You're better than that. Not everyone is as easy to win over as my mum, Harry" she said, her look telling me she saw right through me.

"I know, and I will. Thank you for your concern" I said.

"I'm always concerned for my family, I get it from my mother" Rose said, finally breaking into the smile she usually gave me.

"She has a big heart" I said quietly, as she was closing the door, I didn't know whether she heard it or not but that didn't matter. It was true.


	5. Chapter 4 Are We All Forgotten?

**Chapter Song: Are We All Forgotten- Paper Route**

**I'm in my final year of school now, so I need to focus on my studies over my fics. I've decided to have shorter chapters, so I can have more frequent updates. So sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but it's a good thing.**

The weeks began to pass by without any significant events, I continued on my usual life but with a few differences. I would teach then mark pupils work, as I always had but the episode with Lily encouraged me to spend more time with my children, one of my main focuses being Albus. Albus, was still carrying around his bad attitude and behaviour. When I would be told of James' detentions his would always be because of him acting cheeky or doing some dumb prank of some kind. The things I was hearing of Albus were nasty and angry, and I was constantly reminded that they were beyond that of a hormonal teenage boy. So I decided maybe I needed to spend more time with him, but that wasn't easy to do either. Albus would either act unpleasant or standoffish, or make excuses not to spend time with me.

I was also seeing Hermione a lot more, and as a result growing closer to my best friend again. But somehow she didn't feel like my best friend, know it all, sisterlike Hermione Granger anymore. We had both grown up and grown a part and as a result had a new energy between us, it was a different energy to the one we had as children and was hard to define. We would usually spend time together at least twice a week and always sit next to each other at meal times, sometimes Hagrid would sit next to us too and we would reminisce about old times. At first Hermione would find it sad at the mention of Ron but as time went on she was finding it easier to talk about him, she still had pain in her eyes at the mention but talking about him helped her. Hermione and I would sit for hours in our chambers, sometimes laughing, sometimes helping each other.

o-o-o

About a month into the new term I received a letter from the ministry asking me to come and meet the Head of the Unspeakable department. Hermione speculated that they may be looking into exactly what was said in the prophecy, seeing as the record of it had obviously been destroyed. I however disagreed, they had had nineteen years to look into what had happened, and had not. No, I thought it would be something to do with the time when I worked at the Ministry as Head of the Auror department.

The Friday following the letter I had no lessons in the afternoon so I agreed to meet them. It was then that I found myself in front of my bedroom mirror in despair trying to figure out how smart an outfit I would need to wear when there was a knock at my door. With a sigh I turned away from the mirror, with my shirt half done, and walked dejectedly to the front door. I opened the door to find Hermione, who viewed my disheveled appearance with a smirk.

"Yes?" I asked moodily, standing aside to let her in before shutting the door.

"Isn't your appointment soon?" Hermione asked, amusement tainting her voice.

"Yes."

"Then why aren't you dressed?"

"Because I don't know what I'm supposed to wear" I said through gritted teeth, before stomping over to my bedroom.

"That's easy, this shirt because it brings out your eyes and the trousers you are wearing now. If you feel overdressed keep your robes on, no matter how warm you are" Hermione advised buisnesslike, pulling out a hastily rehung shirt that had been rejected.

"It's not a date" I reminded her, pulling off the shirt I was wearing.

"No...er...no I er... guess it's not" Hermione stuttered, pink and flustered for a moment.

Confused I looked around to what caused her fluster, when I looked back I saw her eyes lingering...on me.

"Sorry" Hermione said suddenly, turning around sharply. "Can I get a glass of water?"

"Yeah sure..." I said, deep in thought.

I turned to the mirror and examined my body critically, I'd assumed it had changed very little since I was at school but now I thought about it I had a more healthier weight due to actually being fed and more muscle. In fact my muscles were more defined than I'd imagined, I wasn't Dean Thomas but I suppose I looked more like a man than a prepubescent boy. I couldn't hold it against her that she may have been looking at me in _that way, _after all I had checked her out and like what I had seen- it was just human nature it meant nothing. Hearing footsteps returning back towards my room I quickly put on my new shirt, desperate to make sure she wouldn't have to feel that awkward and embarrassed again.

Hermione had composed herself by the time she had returned and smiled when she walks through the door.

"That shirt does look really nice on you" she said quietly, concentrating very hard on her glass of water.

"Thanks, picked it out myself" I grinned, as she smiled back and passed me my robes.

"Good luck, Harry"

"With what?" I asked playfully.

"Whatever your facing, there's many ominous things about the Department of Mysteries"

"I noticed"

Hermione smiled for a moment, as though she was restraining herself from saying something. "Come see me when you get back?"

I considered her for a moment, my eyes flickering over the genuine concern on her pretty face. "Of course, what else would I do"

Impulsively Hermione stepped forward and wrapped me into a tight hug, and unconciously buried my face in her curls, breathing in the fruity scent of her shampoo. It was the same shampoo Ginny used to use, and made me pang for a second for the old Ginny I used to know. The girl I fell in love with. But Ginny was not her anymore, and Hermione wasn't Ginny. So I pulled myself out of the hug, not wanting to feel that way about Ginny again.

"Thanks for your help" I said, slipping on my robes.

"Anytime" Hermione smiled, walking towards my door. I let her out then locked it, before walking over to the fireplace. With a shaky hand I reached into the pot of floo powder, then stepped into the fireplace.

"Ministry of Magic" I shouted, dropping the powder and disappearing in a cloud of emerald smoke.

o-o-o

When I arrived at the Ministry of Magic I felt a sense of familiarity as I had emerged in my previous place of work, before heading towards the elevator. The ride down to the Department of Mysteries was long, as of course it was on the bottom floor. People nodded in greeting to me as they stepped into the elevator or would strike up conversation about how each of us were doing. The small talk was awkward and forced and I just wanted to get out and find out why I had been summoned here. I stepped out finally and walked down the long dark corridor, stopping in front of where i knew their offices were.

The offices of the Unspeakables were hidden behind a similar disguise as Diagon Alley. I was reminded in the letter of what the pattern was and drew out my wand and tapped the bricks, before they pulled back to reveal a door. With a deep breath I opened the door and walked through into a brightly lit room, full of cubicles with desks in until at the end was a seperate room. I strolled down to the room at the end, very concious of the eyes of workers watching me. The door of the office I was visiting had a new name on.

"Iguan Scamander

Head of Unspeakables"

Hesitantly I knocked, as I tried to dig back in my mind where I knew the name from. Pushing this aside I waited for the door to open before walking over to the man at the desk.

"Thankyou for meeting with me Mr. Potter" the man said, with a heavy London accent and a broad smile.

"No problem Mr. Scamander, I was curious about why you summoned me" I said, examining him carefully.

He was tall and broad, with a shock of wiry red hair and piercing grey eyes. His face was friendly but firm, and couldn't have been older than early fourties but the lines in his face implied he had seen more in his life than any man should.

"Please Mr. Potter, sit down" Scamander said, indicating to the purple velvet lined chair in front of the desk. "Would you like a drink?"

"Yes please, would tea be alright?" I asked, watching him drawing out teacups.

After a little time Scamander handed me a cup and sat back in his chair, taking a sip from his own. "Alright Mr. Potter, I'm not one for procrastinating from saying something. If something needs to be said, I'll say it. It saves a lot of time"

"Okay" I nodded, my curiosity growing now.

"A week ago my cousins wife came to me with an intriguing request, she had found out that I was to be the new Head of Unspeakables and sought out to meet me. It had seemed when she was young she had viewed the most curious tragedy and mystery"

His eyes flickered over me, studying my face for recognition of who had sought him out. I thought back at him name, Scamander... Scamander... I couldn't think where I had heard that before, but didn't want to ask.

"May I ask who that was?" I asked slightly embarassed.

"She said you have to work it out on your own" Scamander replied with a wry smile, pulling a piece of paper out of his draw.

"Anyway, it concerns this man"

He put the piece of paper on the table and I felt a pang of grief at the sight of the person on the paper. The man was in his thirties, laughing at a joke nobody could hear but his eyes had worry and sadness in, contrasting against the expression on his face. My eyes dropped down to the name, place and date of birth, criminal record and education and occupation. But my eyes stopped at the final part, the part saying Death: ?. I frowned at the paper then looked up at Scamander.

"Why the question mark?" I enquired, pulling my eyes away from the picture and away from the sadness and longing I felt at looking at him again.

"Well from what I was told by the woman, she thinks he may still be alive, magic is an amazing thing Mr. Potter"

"That's impossible, D...Dumbledore said-" I said weakly, my voice thick with the emotion I was trying to hide.

"He may not be alive, Dumbledore may be right like he so often was. But what if he is Mr. Potter? What if he's stranded in some other world trying to get home, but with nobody to help him. We are willing to open the investigation that never happened at the time, because it's owed to him after the treatment he was given for so long" Scamander said, his expression was one of genuine concern.

"Sirius Black is gone" I stated.

"He might be gone but why should that mean that he's dead?"

I let out a sigh. I had no idea what to do.

"Closure is a good thing Mr. Potter"

I sighed again and rubbed my eyes, before making my decision.


	6. Chapter 5 Better Open The Door

**Chapter Song: Better Open The Door- Motion City Soundtrack**

**I know it's been a while since I updated, I had writers block and I'm sorry okay :).**

It was Saturday night and teacher or not I was going to enjoy it. Since I had began working at Hogwarts there was a monthly routine which must be upheld, one containing four men who should know better and a drunken haze more often than not. I strolled towards The Three Broomsticks, early as usual. Rosmerta smiled at me as I walked casually over to the dark wooden bar I knew so well.

"Mr Potter, why am I not surprised to see you here?" Rosmerta said, smiling warmly with lush red lips and her usual flirty twinkle in her eyes.

"Because you know me, my friends and my liver far too well" I grinned, sitting up on a stool and watching her grab bottles of firewhiskey out of the cabinet.

"So Harry, is there a lady in your life yet?" she asked, pulling the top off the bottle with her wand before passing it to me.

"No, not yet. Things are still sticky after the divorce"

"That is a real shame, I always did like Ginny,"

"You actually sound sincere with that for once, Rosmerta" I smiled wryly, sipping the burning liquid and letting the warmth slip through me in a way butterbeer never quite manages.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Rosmerta asked jokingly, putting her hands on her hips and pouting.

"As in you aren't using it to hit on me" I laughed, laughing more once joined by her spirited laughter.

"Maybe I'm thinking of finally settling down" she replied, going a little pink.

"Oh? With who?" I enquired, watching her squirm.

Rosmerta went even redder, about to answer when we were interrupted by the three men I had been waiting for. On the left, and very unmissable, was Hagrid. His hair was as wild as ever and greying more and more by the day, and his beetle eyes crinkled at the sight of me. Next to him, was Neville Longbottom his messy black hair framing his no longer round face, which was slim, battle worn and now handsome face. Last but definately not least was my best, best friend Ronald Weasley. Ron grinned and walked forward, gripping me in our usual hug that was always leaning away from manly and more to a bit girly.

"Gentlemen, it's our first Broomsticks outing of the new school year, so let's make it a good'un" Ron grinned, handing us our firewhiskey to toast.

The night progressed, we stayed at the bar and chatted to Rosmerta- I was a bit annoyed with them to begin with. I was sure that Rosmerta would have told me who her mystery man was but the moment they got there it turned into a guessing game. The more we drank the more ridiculous the answers got, five bottles of firewhiskey each later and the names given had long since left feasible answers.

"Myron Wagtail" Neville exclaimed the name of the lead singer of the Weird Sisters, which to everyone's surprise sent her going pink.

"You aren't are you?" Ron spluttered, looking insanely jealous.

"No, no" Rosmerta was practically the colour of her long since rubbed off lipstick.

"Liar!" I half-shouted, slopping firewhiskey over myself.

"Okay okay, we've had a...er...fling?" she said in a low voice wincing at the cheers which followed. "Shhhh!"

"I know, I know!" I said, drawing a name from my memory. "Iguan Scamander"

Rosmerta once more was interrupted as she was about to answer by a loud and awfully familiar voice by the door.

"What are you saying about my cuz?" came the obnoxious, loud voice of Rolf Scamander.

Everyones heads turned towards the couple approaching us and I heard Ron make a low hiss at the sight of him, the man I hated the most in the world- not more than Voldemort obviously- but the man was still bad to me. Not bad sorry, pure evil. Spite. What made it worse was who was accompanying him, with her long, long dirty blonde hair and far away eyes was no other than Luna Lovegood.

"Hello Harry" she said dreamily, her eyes far away in God knows where.

"Hi Luna" I said through gritted teeth, my eyes flicking back over to the tall, muscular man with the dark chocolate hair.

"Since when have you two been together" Ron asked bluntly, clutching at his drink like it was the only thing supporting him in his anger.

"Me and Lu? A year, it was a private ceremony by the way, the family only," Rolf said, arrogance shining from every orifice of his body, soul and loud voice "But anyway, nice to see you again Harry"

Rolf extended his hand to me, which I gripped tightly, much like how the quidditch captains of Gryffindor and Slytherin used to. My mind couldn't help but flicker back to the last time we had been in such close contact.

_"I'm going to kill him" Ron spat, pacing the living room of The Burrow like a bull who had just seen red._

_"Ron it's not your battle mate" I said quietly, I was still in the pain stage of what had just happened. Ron wasn't directly involved, meaning he and his short temper flared quicker than a snitch- it was to be expected. I had to stop him though, if anyone was going after him it'd be me._

_"SO! HE'S WRECKED THE LIVES OF TWO PEOPLE IMPORTANT TO ME! HE'S NOT GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!" Ron shouted, his pacing getting faster and more manic._

_"What I mean, is that if anyone is going after him it should be me" _

_Ron came to a halt and sat down, his breathing patterns visibly going back to normal and the tomato coloured ears fading to a pink. He raised his head to look at me and nodded, taking deep breaths to help calm him down quicker._

_"Oh...yeah...you're right of course"_

_I smiled at my best friend, it meant a lot that he cared so much. "I know I am, I'm just going to talk to him you know. Starting a fight won't help much, right?"  
><em>

_I couldn't help but wince at my use of "right?" as if I needed convincing, fighting wasn't my style. I was of course hotheaded, but I wasn't Dudley Dursley- I didn't need to go around beating people up to prove my point. Did I?_

_"Okay then, he's probably at the Cauldron. He's often there" Ron said. "I'm coming with you though"_

_My eyes caught his and with a sigh I agreed before disapparating out of his living room. I appeared in the small back alley with the entrance for Diagon Alley, landing on top of a mop and bucket. To be honest I never really had gotten the hang of apparation. There was a pop behind me, and the sound of a bucket clattering- Ron wasn't great at it either. We walked into the busy pub, eyes scanning the room for Rolf- who was nowhere to be seen. Ron shrugged at me, walking over to the bar._

_"Is Rolf Scamander here?" Ron enquired, after exchanging a quick greeting with Tom._

_"Erm, yes, but erm... i'm not sure if he wants to be disturbed...he has er...company..." Tom said awkwardly, staring very intently at the glass he was cleaning._

_Ron looked slightly stumped but I set into some quick thinking. "He asked us to drop a package off, he has one of those messenger pigeons" _

_Tom looked visibly more comfortable now and put down the glass. "Room 202 Mr. Potter"_

_"Thankyou very much" we smiled, before heading up towards the stairs. _

_When we reached the room there was a "Do Not Disturb" sign on, with raised eyebrows Ron removed it. I tried to door handle first, nothing, so I drew out my wand. "Alohomora". The sound of a key turning in a lock filled the room, then the door opened revealing a disgusting scene. Ron and I were privelaged enough to have front row seats to Rolf's ass moving up and down on top of some cheap looking girl._

_"Hi Rolf, can we have a chat?"I smiled, watching him jump in fright. The girl stood up and hurried to collect her clothes, and a wad of cash on the table before running out, not looking particularly embaressed- more concerned about not getting full payment. _

_"Wow Rolf, is that what you've sunk to?" I asked, shaking my head and tutting._

_"Get out Potter, you creep" he spat, using his wand to clothe himself once more, his face visibly red under his cool facade._

_"No Scamander, we need to talk" I said, shaking my head and shutting the door._

_Venom filled Scamander's face, as with a smirk he faced me. "You see the question is Potter who will your girl let sink into her?"_

_That's when the rage finally had hit me, I swung my fist forward, hitting his stupid face with a sickening crunch. With blood streaming from his nose into his mouth, Scamander gritted his teeth before aiming for me back. I had seen his attack coming from a mile away and ducked, only for him to try the new tactic of grappling me and pulling me over on the floor. Then Scamander raised his fist again and got my face this time, right in the eye. He started to crawl off me when I played my ace card, I drew back my legs and kicked him hard in his special area- sending him flying backwards and clutching at his crotch._

_"Come on Ron, it's time to go" I nodded at my best friend, letting him pull me up and get out of Rolf's room in the hope that I would never have to see his slimy self ever again._

I finished the gripping war we were having and simply glared at him, Ron looked between us and said.

"Come on Harry, it's time to go"

I looked over and nodded, walking out of the bar and away from the man who ruined my life as I knew it.


	7. Chapter 6 Middle Of Nowhere

**Chapter Song: Middle of Nowhere- Hot, Hot Heat**

**Basically I'm rotating this fic with my other fic Moony's Sister, Padfoot's Lover (shameless plug) so once one is updated the other will be next. Things'll start happening now, all the drama will start setting in.**

* * *

><p>"Bombarda" I shouted, sending an empty barrel flying in different directions and a terrified cat across the streets of Hogsmeade. I was so, so angry.<p>

"Harry" Ron panted, rushing down the street and struggling to catch up with my quick footsteps. "Harry, he's gone. We're away. It's okay."

The problem was the blood was still hot and flowing quickly, not so much in my head anymore, but throughout my body. Alcohol wasn't helping either, it was creating an angry mist in my mind and clouding my usual judgement. I needed to get back to the castle, even though Ron was being rational now it wasn't something to trust on lasting. Ron Weasley was not known for making clear, good decisions. I knew who I wanted to see, it was Hermione. The worst part was I wasn't even sure why. I'd thought about her a lot lately, probably because she had come back into my life.

"Look let's get back to the castle" Ron said.

"How you getting home?" I said, trying to adequately string a sentence together in the midst of my emotional, alcohol fueled, tired state.

"Ugh I don't know... I'll walk up to Fred's place up here and crash there probably. After I've dropped you off"

We walked in silence for the rest of the walk. The weak early morning light was filling the sky now and created a perfect silhouette of the castle. As we were approaching the gates I realised that Hermione would be asleep and it'd be wrong to wake her.

"Harry" Ron said suddenly, giving me the impression he was voicing his thoughts "Do you ever miss Ginny?"

I felt a wrench inside of me at the mention of her name, it was weaker now but still there. "Of course" I whispered.

It was then that I realised I was as emotional as I was, as a tear slipped down my face. Then came another, hastily I wiped it away.

"Oh sorry mate I didn't realise you felt quite like you did" he said awkwardly as we walked towards the entrance hall doors.

I went to reply when I realised we ween't alone, there was a figure sat on the grass and leaning on a marble statue outside. Figuring it was a student even in my state I had to scold them and send them to bed. Leaning down I examined their face, it was a girl with wild brown hair and captivating brown eyes.

"Harry?" said the girl. I knew that voice.

The girl stood up and revealed herself to be Hermione, wearing tartan flannel pajama bottoms with a thick woolly cardigan. Her eyes flicked over my face and visibly showed shock at the state I was in.

"What ever is the matter?" Hermione asked, stepping forward worriedly to grasp my arm. "Who were you with?"

"Me" came the voice of Ron from the shadows of the castle.

I heard Hermione's sharp intake of breath at the sight of him, the first sight of him since their argument it had to be hard. There was an awkward silence that fell between us as we all stood there, each of us at different parts of our lives. The golden trio, all together again. Kind of.

"It's been a long time since it was the three of us" Hermione said quietly, her eyes sparkling with tears.

"Yep" Ron said coldly, not even making eye contact with her. I saw her break at the sharpness of his voice, i just wanted to protect her from it. From the pain I knew racked at her every day. Spending a year only siding with Ron and not looking at two sides of the story was a mistake, I could see that now. Hermione was hurting too, and it was time that that fact was recognised.

"Come on Ron, leave it no, s'late" I said, struggling to string together another sentence.

"Right" he nodded, turning away. "See you soon Harry"

I waved at his retreating back and turned back to see Hermione stood there, her eyes still sparkling and her bottom lip trembling. I threw myself forward in an attempt to hug her but ended up knocking her nose practically off.

If anything it seemed to bring sense back into her. "Come on Harry" she sighed, flinging a supporting arm around me and helping me into the hall.

We reached her chambers and she walked into another room and returned with a thick blanket and some pillows.

"I'll g'back ter mi-" I began, feeling so tired words were a struggle.

"No you won't, you've been through too much tonight I can tell- you don't have to tell me what just stay with me tonight okay?"

I let out a sigh. "'Kay"

Hermione smiled at me before walking over to shrug off her cardigan and gently throw it over one of her dining room chairs. Her pale, creamy skin hit the light and just seemed so beautiful. Everything about her was really. I mentally smacked myself, I'd been doing that a lot lately, the alcohol was definitely clouding my judgement. I didn't really want her in particular, just a woman I assured myself.

"Right. Er- I don't have any pj's here so..." she said awkwardly, blushing.

"'Kay" I mumbled, too tired now.

Hermione walked forward and pulled me in a tight hug, I felt her soft hair tickling my face and weighing heavily on my shoulders. Her light floral scent overwhelmed me, and all too quickly she was gone again and laying the blanket on the couch.

"Goodnight Harry" she smiled, lingering for a moment before walking back to her room.

"Goodnight" I replied, too late.

**x-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;x **

The next morning I woke with not a banging headache, no that would be an understatement, more like a headache which would imply the aftermath of The Battle of Hogwarts happening in my head. Bravely, proving my true Gryffindor status, I opened my eyes to the blinding light that was filtering through. I frowned, I never opened my curtains in a morning. It'd be a death wish! It was then that I realised, I was on a couch and not in my bed.

Once my eyes adjusted I looked around the room, it seemed familiar but not well known to me. I checked under the covers to find myself in my underwear. I leapt out of bed, desperately racking my mind to work out where the hell I was. Had I slept with someone in my drunken haze? Had they run out and abandoned me on the couch? What the hell happened last night?

"Harry?"

I jumped at the voice and then registered it, it was Hermione. Had we done something? I could only remember our hug in the middle of the living room, it was a tight hug and I remembered never wanting it to end.

"What happened last night?" I asked tentatively without looking at her.

"Maybe I'll tell you when you've got some clothes on" Hermione replied, in a dignified voice to cover what could only be intense embarrassment.

Awkwardly I reached for my clothes from the night before, which had been neatly folded next to the couch, and slipped them on whilst Hermione bustled around making coffee. Taking my sweet time getting changed, to avoid the upcoming conversation, I eventually got to the point where the time it was taking to put my socks on was ridiculous and I walked over to the little kitchen area.

"Soooo..." I said, sitting down on the little chair and gratefully taking my cup of coffee from her.

"Yes" Hermione replied awkwardly, sitting opposite me.

"Did I do something stupid? Well I mean er- did _we _do something stupid?" I asked, with reddening cheeks and a strong desire to sink into the floor.

Hermione laughed out loud and I frowned, I couldn't see what could be funny.

"Yes?"

"Oh sorry Harry," she giggled, setting down her coffee. "You didn't seriously think that-?"

Hermione set off again sniggering, and even though it was vain and petty I did kind of take it personally that the idea of it was so funny to her. She saw my expression and her giggles died off a bit.

"No, no I don't mean it like that! I'm sure it'd be great!" she said reassuringly, her eyes widening at what she ended with.

"It's okay" I stemmed the flow of awkwardness before it could flood. "What actually happened?"

"Well I was unable to sleep so I went and sat outside of the castle, I was there thinking for a while until you and... Ronald showed up"

I cringed, I could vaguely remember their somewhat frosty exchange. "Oh"

"Yeah" Hermione sighed, "Anyway you were in a state, something had happened to you, so I just told you to stay here"

"Okay, thankyou for that" I said.

We sat in silence for a while whilst I tried to recall what had happened that night. They always say retrace your footsteps when you lose something, so that was exactly what I was going to do. After all I had lost my memory of what had happened. The night started at The Broomsticks, as always, with Ron, Hagrid and Neville. We then drank a ridiculous amount and we were teasing Rosmerta about something, another thing I can't remember. So what had happened after that? I had been laughing, what had stopped that? I could vaguely remember we were about to reveal someones secret when somebody interrupted, someone loud obnoxious and-

"Scamander!" I spat, realization dawning over me. "Rolf fucking Scamander"

"Luna's husband?" Hermione asked with confusion and interest.

"What?" I asked, stonily. "You knew?"

"Knew what?"

"They were together Hermione! You knew and said nothing?" I stood up and paced the room, raking my hand through my hair.

"Why would I tell you, I don't even know why you would need to know that. If you're upset about the wedding it was a-"

"Private ceremony. He mentioned that. What do you mean you don't know?" I asked, I was beyond confused.

"As in I didn't know you had a problem with him?" Hermione asked, sounding affronted at my accusatory tone. I didn't blame her.

"Ginny didn't tell you?" I said, incredulous, laughing without humor.

"Tell me what?" Hermione asked, sounding believably baffled.

I let out a deep breath and calmed, it wasn't the time for this. "Another time, I'm sorry for my anger then, especially when you've been so hospitable. We just have history you know?"

"Yes Harry, it's fine. You've never been known to have a calm, cool headed approach to things. I've known you for twenty three years don't forget" she smiled, tiding away her empty mug and my half empty one.

I smiled back, feeling my stomach rumble "So, should we go to breakfast?"

"We've missed breakfast Harry" Hermione rolled her eyes, putting the mugs in the sink. "It's actually time for lunch now, come on let's go"

When we arrived in the Great Hall there was a breakout of talking, not just normal talking, you know the sound people make when they are gossiping? Yeah that's the noise which was filling the room like a swarm of cornish pixies. We sped up our pace to escape the eyes following us and hurried to the table to serve up some food. The teachers weren't much better, they all stared up at us as we reached the table. Even though they smiled they had a look about them which was a very telling look of people about to talk about you the moment you stopped noticing them.

"What's going on?" Hermione whispered in my ear, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"I have no idea" I replied, grabbing as much food as I could with the intention of eating quickly then bolting out of there. Which was a shame, as it was Sunday Roast, but my stomach still wasn't feeling 100 percent good and the atmosphere was awful.

After my rushed lunch I left quickly, still feeling the eyes on me. When I reached the entrance hall I had no actual idea of what I was going to do with the remainder of my Sunday, I could go back to my office and mark the stack of essays I had or I could spend time with my children. I knew which one I wanted. Heading towards Gryffindor Tower with the intention of guilt tripping one of them to spend time with me I bumped into one.

"Nice pull Dad" James shouted, grinning like a schoolboy with a group of his cronies and carrying on down the corridor so fast I didn't have time to react nor try and see if he wanted to spend the afternoon with me. I could hear the laughter of his friends carrying on down to the next corridor.

Confused, but with a bad headache still, I chose not to care and carried on my path. I struck lucky again, or so I thought, when I saw my second oldest alone and looking irritated. I could try and use my fatherly skills to make him feel better, but I was blissfully unaware of how much I could make his problem worse.

"Hey Al'" I grinned at my lookalike, who only returned it with a sullen look.

"Got time for us now do you?" he spat, aiming to storm down the corridor but with this child I caught him before he could.

"What are you on about?" I asked, I only gave them space usually because that's what they requested of me so they didn't look uncool or a teachers pet or something. "I thought you wanted me to keep away from you?"

"Yeah I do, because frankly I wouldn't want to go near you but Lily? She went looking for you and you weren't there. So she goes and looks for Hugo to see if he knows, you know because we're all like related, and he also went to see his parent. Then we are given the interesting development of hearing that when he went to knock he heard a mans voice and didn't want to interfere on the off-chance that it was his dad and that they were getting together. Imagine how shocked he was when it was you who emerged wearing the same as you had on last night and sex hair" Albus said angrily, saying more than he usually ever said in one go.

"No, no, no, noooo you've got the wrong idea... I swear" I pleaded, my eyes widening with horror.

"Well Hugo and Rose went to some loud mouth older Gryffindor to surmise what had happened and he informed their innocent minds that you two were getting it on. Also that's how the news spread if you were wondering"

"But it's not true" he needed to know that.

"All seems pretty likely to me Dad, classy. Your best friends ex. I know mum made mistakes but she'd never sink that low" Albus gave me the worst look ever, one of disgust, before carrying on his storm down the corridor.

What a mess, again.


	8. Chapter 7 Not Over Yet

**Chapter Song: Not Over Yet- Klaxons/Grace**

"Mr Potter, wonderful to see you again" Scamander said warmly, shaking my hand and leading us to his desk.

It had been a month since I had first met with Scamander to discuss Sirius and his whereabouts. Over the last month I had been regularly returning to the Department of Mysteries to check up on the progress of the investigation. The longer it was taking the less hope I had, it seemed unlikely with modern magic that it would take this long if he was there. At least they would be certain of his existence, extracting him would of course be harder but nevertheless it would be some information. However part of me was carrying some optimism, I wasn't the one producing it however- that was Hermione. Hermione strongly believed there could still be a chance, she thought if the ministry was investigating it that meant that there must be a strong possibility. After all, she had always strongly believed in authority.

"You too, Mr. Scamander" I smiled, slightly nervous- I hadn't seen him since before my run in with his cousin, I sat down and accepted my usual cup of tea from him and braced myself for his usual question.

"Worked out who suggested the idea to me yet?" Scamander smirked, the look in his eyes suggesting that he already knew the answer. The smirk still remaining on his weathered face he picked up his own cup and sipped at the contents, waiting patiently for my reply.

"Luna Lovego- Scamander"

Scamander clapped slowly and slightly mockingly. "Took you long enough, I thought you would never work it out"

Gripping my mug tightly I gritted my teeth. "I have a lot on my mind"

"I heard you also appeared less than pleased to reunite with my cousin"

"Look, I'm not going to discuss this with you" I told him, setting down my mug and starting to rise from my chair. "If we can't keep things on a professional level then I will just go straight to the unspeakables and keep up with what's happening from them"

Iguan Scamander could be infuriating, he would constantly change the subject to something unprofessional then the moment I had given him the information he really wanted to know he would change it again. In all honesty I could not wait until this investigation was over, not just so I could have closure but because also I could get away from him.

"Sit down man, I just want to ask one last thing before we talk on a "professional level" if you wouldn't mind?" Scamander checked for conformation, receiving a grim nod. "Why do you not speak to Luna anymore? She seems a lovely girl"

I frowned at him, surprised about his question, I considered my answer. "I think, after Hogwarts, we just lost contact. You do, don't you?"

"But from what I've heard she was there for you, she was the only one who believed you were telling the truth about You-Know-Who's return and she came to the department of mysteries with you. I can't believe you would give up on that" he said, sounding truly passionate about it.

"You sound like you really care about her" I smiled, adjusting my glasses.

"It's impossible not to, once you've met her. Wouldn't you say?" Scamander smiled again, tilting back in his chair. "And I know you must find this hard to believe, but she's perfect for Rolf"

"But he's not perfect for her" my smile fell as I grew increasingly more uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Maybe not, but that's not what love is" he sighed, as though he had learnt that himself at some point in his life. "Anyway, as you said, we should get on with things"

I nodded, pulling myself back out of the past and out of thoughts of my old friend. Sirius was the important on for now, if I could save him I would- whatever it would take. He came into my life and changed it beyond anything I could of imagined. When he was gone... it was like I had lost the only father figure I had ever truly known- every time I had to go back in that room it hurt me. To be where that happened, it almost killed me.

"Now I'm afraid to say Mr. Potter, things aren't going so well" sighed Scamander, pinching the bridge of his nose. "The further we're delving the less and less hope we have. We are using the most advanced spells known to the wizard population, but with no avail"

Tapping my wand on the desk I dragged my eyes up to regard him, and the true sorrow in his eyes. Iguan Scamander was a good man, and I had no reason not to trust his words and that they were the truth. "It's okay, the fact you tried means a lot- especially with my...history with the ministry"

Placing my wand on the table for a moment I flexed my right hand, to reveal the age-old scar of "I must not tell lies". The action was not missed by Scamander who regarded the scar with a look of distaste in his eyes. Standing up, he gestured towards the door for me to follow him. Unsurprisingly the unspeakables weren't staring this time, they always made it look like they were doing work when their boss passed.

We reached the Death Chamber to find a group of about five young unspeakables were surrounding the stone dais in the centre of the room, four had their wands aloft and were muttering complicated latin spells whilst one wrote something on a clipboard.

"What are they doing?" I enquired, as we approached the group. The dais was surrounded by a large blue bubble, which they were firing their strange, advanced sounding spells at.

"They have created a penetration bubble to attempt to put a strong force onto archway to hopefully break it down without harming Sirius, should he be alive" explained Scamander, checking the clipboard that one of the unspeakables were scrawling on. "How's it going?"

"Not so good, sir. We have tried some of the most complex spells known to wizardry and no avail" the guy with the clipboard said, eyeing me slightly snottily- as though he thought he was much better.

I considered the young wizard for a moment. "Have you tried any of the more basic spells?"

Clipboard Guy tried to hide a scoff. "No offence" though of course I was meant to take offence, "But this is a complex piece of magic here and I don't think Standard Spells Grade 3 are going to help"

Scamander opened his mouth, seemingly about to scold the unspeakable but I raised my hand. "Well it's worth a shot"

Walking forward to approach the black curtain, I drew my wand and gritted my teeth. This piece of magic was responsible for taking my godfather from me, it was about time I faced it again. "Bombarda"

Nothing happened. I heard the sniggers of the group of young, arrogant wizards around me. Slightly abashed, but not ready to give in I raised my wand again. "Bombarda Maxima!"

A shuddering filled the chamber and I felt myself nearly fly backwards, but stopped myself. I was pleased to see that Clipboard Guy and his cronies had fallen to the floor- Scamander and I were the only ones left standing. Walking towards the dais I saw the bubble had a crack in, it was a small crack but it was something at least. Something was working, and I was right and they were wrong. I think that's what made me feel so good.

"Well done Potter, it's a mind like that that was the reason you defeated the Dark Lord" Scamander boomed, patting me on the back and throwing the young group of unspeakables a filthy look. "Now, I would recommend you continue to use this spell as well as reducto and should that not work- Reducto Maxima"

Scamander led me away, his booming laughter filling the chamber. "If I would of known you would be the one to help solve the problem I would have called you in a month ago"

I grinned, climbing out and back into the long marble corridor which led back out to the atrium. "I don't know about that"

When we reached the door leading the elevator Scamander turned to me, the grin still on his face. "If you would like to rejoin the ministry- in the unspeakable department- with a bit of training I could see that being a good fit. Better than those clowns down there"

"They're young" I shrugged, reaching for the button on the elevator. "Anyway, thankyou for all the work you're doing- it means a lot, and thankyou for the job offer. I'm comfortable with my current job, but it's a great offer"

"Ah well," he shrugged back, holding out his hand to shake. "We will let you know about any updates as soon as they happen"

"Okay thankyou so much, goodbye Mr. Scamander"

"Goodbye Potter"

**xox**

"Lily, honey, I don't think it's right for me to give you the answers to the homework I set you" I sighed, handing Lily her DADA homework back and returning to grading my sixth years essays.

"Awww! Scorpius said his dad helps him all the time" she whined, setting her homework on the table and standing up, before wandering the room restlessly.

"You talk to Malfoy?" I asked, trying to keep the resentment out of my voice. Apparently I was not successful.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, don't hold grudges" Lily shook her head, dodging her brother on the couch. James stood up and wandered over to my cupboards, extracting a bar of honeydukes chocolate.

"She's always with him, practically inseparable" James smirked, smacking her round the head as she passed, making Lily give off a noise of protest.

"I'm not holding grudges, I think it's great" I said through gritted teeth, catching the eye of James and struggling to keep my face straight.

"You are such a liar!" Lily exclaimed, wandering over to the door of the bathroom. "If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need the loo!"

When Lily had left the room, James turned to me with a rare serious expression on his face. He knew exactly what I was going to ask him about. "Why wouldn't Albus come here?" I sighed, setting down my quill and flicking my wand to the cupboard to lock it- to prevent my chocolate supplies being barren.

James shifted on his feet awkwardly for a moment, before resting back against the counter. "He's really angry right now"

"About what?"

"I don't really know to be honest, I try and talk to him and he just says some dumb comment to impress his friends or tells me in some not so pretty words to go away" James sighed, Albus had always looked up to James and I could tell it was strange and sad for him to have to see him like this. "Sometimes I think he's angry at the fact you and Mum aren't together anymore but sometimes I think he is just angry. Well, not sometimes. Always"

"I wish I could make him feel better but me and your Mum- we just don't work. It would be worse for us to be together and unhappy" I took a leaf out of Lily's book and started to pace myself, trying to make sense of things.

"That much is obvious. I know it, Lily knows it and Albus does- he's just not got his head around it yet. He needs time, he doesn't believe anymore that you and Hermione are together. But he's still suspicious, with good reason"

"What do you mean?" I span round, coming to a halt in the kitchen area.

"There's like an energy between you two, it's hard to explain. Chemistry I guess. I dunno, it's weird to talk about. I think Al feels it, and he doesn't like it. In his mind it's you and Mum- he acts awful to Dean" James explained, raking a hand through his unruly hair.

The conversation came to a halt at the reappearance of my daughter, I didn't want to have to talk about it in front of her. While she was exceedingly clever and perceptive I didn't want to ruin her innocence, she still viewed the world as a good place- which I never got. I wanted her to trust and see the best in people, hearing of all this pain would only hurt her.

"Your bathroom is so boring, can I make it prettier?" Lily asked as she wandered back out, heading back towards the kitchen to pick up her homework.

"Maybe"

"Cool, anyway, are you any closer to finding Sirius?" Lily removed a lollipop from the little jar on my counter then leaned against the counter next to her brother, awaiting my reply.

"Kind of, it's not looking good though" I admitted sadly, shrugging. "Wish it was better news, you would of loved him"

"There's still time yet Dad, don't give up on it" James shrugged, heaving himself up, appearing ready to leave.

"I s'pose, you going somewhere?"

"Yeah, sorry, wanted to drop my stuff off before dinner," he indicated to his bag and broomstick which were sitting on the couch.

"Oh yeah, that's fine. It was nice seeing you both. Please tell Al that I love him and would love for him to come see me, and that I won't bother him because I understand he needs his space" I said, reaching out to hug Lily, who held me tightly. Then I reached forward to clap James on the shoulder, who responded with a crooked sort of grin.

"Sure, see ya Dad"

"Yeah bye Daddy"

"Bye guys" I waved them off, closing the door behind them and returning to my stack of essays.

**xox**

No sooner had I returned to my essays I received another visitor. Two in one day, a minor miracle. I set down the stack again and went for the door, hoping that it was Albus.

"Hello Harry" said Hermione, carrying a bottle of wine and eyes swimming with tears.

Two hours later and Hermione had recounted her day of how she went to Diagon Alley to do some shopping and ran into Percy who was less than friendly with her. He had initially asked her how she was and things were quite pleasant until she asked of how Ron was doing.

"And th...th...then he started half-shouting at me, he said I broke his heart and the hearts of my children. He said I was a n..n...no good whore and half the girl I used to be" Hermione wailed into her tissue, slopping some of her glass of wine.

Sensing that it was definately time for Hermione to stop drinking and sober up I took the glass off her and bottle then walked to the kitchen to check the cabinet for a pepperup potion. Pepperup worked a sobering potion, as Ron and I had discovered after a particularly heavy night out in our early twenties. I poured it into a cup and walked over to hand it to her, to find her in the middle of the living room having attempted to follow and stop me.

"Here, drink this" I handed it her and she took it with a shaky hand, taking small sips. "Right, Hermione, at first when we met again I would of said "Yeah she's a slut, a no good-"

"Sparing my feelings here" she said weakly, setting down her cup on a nearby coffee table.

"Yeah, let me get to the point" I scolded, before continuing. "Anyway, I would of said that I agreed with that comment. But the thing is none of them bothered to get to know the new you, sure you're not exactly the same. You're not perfect. Nobody is. But you are great the way you are, if you weren't I'd be done with you. You're intelligent, kind, funny, beautiful-"

The end of my gushing speech was broken by a set of lips blocking mine, at first I made to pull away but found my body rejecting this idea. Hermione felt right against me, I pulled her against me, my hand in her hair. I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss when a bright light came between us, we both drew back in shock to find a lizard patronus staring me in the eyes.

"Potter" it spoke, in Iguan Scamander's voice. "We have finally penetrated the archway, your spell was great and worked superbly. That's how good the news gets, Potter I'm afraid to say we found him...we found your godfather. I'm sorry, he's dead"

**:o any ideas on what will happen next? reviews would be great :)**


	9. Chapter 8 The Pros and Cons of Breathing

**chapter song: The Pros and Cons of Breathing- Fall Out Boy**

**sorry it's been so long, i've had writers block and a lack of motivation. but thankyou to the people who _are _reviewing and all the story alerts/favourites **

* * *

><p>People never truly appreciated desks and the intricate grooves that were wound into the wood. Okay, yes, I understand why people never do, but at this minute anything that could distract me from the overwhelming grief was worth my time. I was sat at my desk facing my worst class on the timetable. There was only two people doing their work, two of the most unexpected people possible, James Potter and Shane Thomas. In the beginning I'd gaped at the way they were both pouring over their parchment, their quills working furiously across the page, but after the while I simply tried to distract myself. Things had gotten noisier and noisier as I stared, in my peripheral I could see a couple of people were watching me more worried now, I never let this happen. But today I didn't care, I wanted to care, but I couldn't.<p>

An uproarious cackle could be heard from near the front of the room, the unmistakable "flirtatious" laugh of Victoire Weasley. A couple of moments later I could hear the clip-clop of an angry girl coming to confront her.

"Oi, Weasley, what the actual FUCK do you think you're doing?" the girl spat, an angry hiss behind her which I could only assume was her gang come to back her up, I knew by that that she must be a Slytherin. I had learnt from experience that they hated to fight alone. Also I was certain that it must be the same Slytherin girl who was constantly on her back, Rebecca Parkinson.

"Hi Bex" she replied coolly, and I could imagine that she was sat on some boys desk with her legs crossed and as innocent of an expression that she could paint on her 1/8th veela face.

"Don't play innocent with me slut, what do you think you're doing flirting with MY boyfriend?" Parkinson exploded, her cronies could also be heard having a go at her apparent "boyfriend".

"We're just chatting"

"No Weasley, no you're not, chatting is at a reasonable distance, plus you have a reputation for opening your legs more than you open your mouth. I know your game, he's a Slytherin you dumb bint" she was clearly extremely wound up at this point, frustrated with the lack of response from Victoire.

"Maybe I'm flirting a little, if your relationship's good then surely this isn't a problem" I could practically hear the smirk in Victoire's voice, and the teeth grinding of Parkinson.

"How about Lupin, Weasley? He's not interested, is he? Looks like he has more taste"

That did it. Finally Parkinson got the reaction she wanted, the girls were properly arguing now. Insults flying out at breakneck speed, more swearing than I had ever heard in that amount of time, and I could imagine that they were inching closer and closer to each other with each hand jab for emphasis.

"Are you not gonna stop this?" James asked in a bored tone, stood at my desk with his hand outstretched and clutching his completed work. I raised my eyes from the table, finally. James was watching me carefully, since the death of..of..Sirius and the behaviour Albus was displaying of late, he had definitely matured a ridiculous amount. Helpfully, he had brought this behavior to Shane Thomas who had also stopped with the constant pranks. He had an everlasting worry line on his forehead at the moment which I hated to see, this was my problem not his.

"If it goes too far" I replied quietly, not looking him in the eyes. With a shrug and a sigh James left my desk and returned to his own, engaging Shane in quiet conversation. The worry line reappeared and I knew he was talking about me, just like he frequently did with Lily. They thought I didn't know, but I could read them like a book- they're my children after all.

I decided I should probably stick to my word and properly watch the heated argument to make sure it wasn't going to go too far. After spending so much time with Ron and Hermione I knew that things usually resolved themselves if you air out any repressed anger. Repressing and repressing until your blue in the face will never help anyone, and that's what I hoped would happen to this pair so we could continue the final hour of the double lesson in peace. No such luck.

"In fact I know why you so desperately want Lupin. I mean, him and your dad are the same breed of mutt- right?"

That did it. Victoire slashed her wand furiously, her ears turning red and a fire reminiscent of Molly Weasley's in her eyes. The problem Victoire was having, however, was that she spent more time getting straight A's in flirting and snogging than defence and charms. Parkinson deflected her curses with ease and raised her wand to return them, before it flew out of her hands.

I was now stood up and had disarmed the pair of them, summoning their wands towards me. The rest of the class hastily began to retreat to their seats, understanding that the fight was now over. Parkinson's cronies slithered away, desperate to stay out of trouble. Victoire turned towards me, I knew exactly what she was going to do- she was going to use her usual tactic to squirm out of trouble. Now I had next to no relation to her family she thought she could flutter her eyelashes and use come hither eyes and I would fall to her feet. She was a beautiful girl, but that was not enough at all, nowhere near.

"Both of you return to your seats, you can have your wands back at the end of the lesson," I informed them both before returning to my desk and placing their wands upon it. "I won't punish either of you any further, I was at fault, I let my emotions cloud my head and what I'm supposed to be doing. Now turn to page 394"

For the rest of the lesson everyone worked in deadly silence, not wanting to test me when my emotions were running so high. I retreated to sitting at my desk, I let my mind wander back to the night I found out Sirius had died...

**xoxoxox**

_The form of the patronus disappeared, as did any strength in my knees as I fell to the floor. Tears made tracks down my face as I could see Hermione moving to my side to hold me close, so warm against me. I let my barriers fall down and let her be there for me as I had so many times before, I knew at some point we would have to talk about the kiss we shared but now wasn't the time. Nothing mattered less to me than that. That one moment of weakness on my character. We stayed there on the floor in silence for about half an hour when she broke away from me suddenly. I jerked from my stupor, I was close to sleep, her sudden movements waking me. _

_"Hermione?" I said sleepily, watching her walk briskly towards the door._

_Hermione paused, her hand on the door handle, and after taking a visibly deep breath she replied. "Yes?"_

_I raised myself and walked towards her, reaching out to touch her arm. She pulled away. "Please don't leave me"_

_My voice was barely a whisper at this point, I knew how weak I sounded. Of course I did. She heard it too, and it made her wince, I recoiled from her in pain. Hermione had spent the time calming me and now the pain was threatening to spill over again, the walls were newly constructed- not properly there and couldn't cope with a double wave of pain. It tore it down, and the weak, pathetic person came out. Since I was 11 I had to mature more than anyone else and had never had time to develop emotionally. The day Ginny and I divorced I drank myself practically to ruin. Harry Potter was a mess inside really, and she was the only one who truly had any idea._

_"Harry" she sighed, gently tipping my chin upwards with her index and middle finger. "I wish I could be there for you but this time... this time I can't"_

_"Why?"_

_A single tear made a beautiful track down her cheek. "Because we would enter a place we can't go, it won't be the same as the times before. I wouldn't be looking after you as a friend. Tonight was a mistake, and we need to be apart for a while to realise it. It's shit timing, if I thought I could be there for you and it be that innocent I would hold you all night. Use this as a way to get closer again to your children, use it to gain the closure you never received when you were 15. Be smart Harry, when the time is right I'll come back,"_

_I hated the way she acted the martyr all the time, the way she always ran at the first sign of trouble. "You always run Hermione, why don't you just stop for once. I need you now. We can wade through the shit afterwards, why should our relationship have to be defined by one of two labels? Friends or a couple? All I know is that I think we need each other"_

_Hermione shook her head, more tears accompanying the tears that were already there. "I'm sorry" _

_The door shut quietly and I fell to the floor for the second time that night. I was alone again. _

_**xoxoxox**_

Finally the bell went for the end of the class and a collection of relieved sighs rang in the stone room.

"For homework if you haven't already completed it please complete the work I set in first period for next lesson, thank you" I called out to the retreating backs of my class. "Victoire could you come here please?"

I saw a strawberry blonde head pause and her shoulders droop as she swung her bag over her shoulders and at a funeral march pace, walked over to my desk. Victoire looked determinedly at the floor, clearly embarrassed for the techniques she tried to pull- never before had they not worked so never before had she had to suffer the awkwardness she was facing now.

"You aren't in trouble" I reassured her, pulling myself on the desk and sitting upon it, gesturing for her to join me. "I assume you realise your father nor Remus aren't actually werewolves right?"

Victoire nodded. "I know all that, it's just when people bring my family into things I get...so pissed off"

"It's a Weasley thing" She smiled at this. "Just so you know I think Teddy really could like you"

It was a rare sight to see her blush, but Victoire did. She turned a deep shade of scarlet. "Ugh. Harry. Ugh. I'm not doing this, okay?"

"No, no" I blocked her from her attempts from jumping from the desk. "I'm being serious. He just doesn't take you seriously because of the way you behave, you have an awful reputation. You must know that right?"

Victoire frowned slightly, swinging her legs. "I know. It's just I don't know how to act with him, he's not as easy as some of the other boys. Every time I try to flirt he redirects me to ask me something about myself, for example the other day he asked me "Don't you just hate this uniform, Hogwarts is warm enough without these cloaks" and I replied "Yeah, but because it hides your body waaay too much and the pants are too loose you can't see the outline of your co-"

"Too much information" I interrupted, cringing slightly, to me she would always be my niece- not matter of the fact me and her auntie were no longer married.

"Sorry" she apologized, before carrying on. "Anywaay, then when I flirt with his ordinary questions he just gives me this sad look and walks off. Usually walks off to that Louisa Hopkirk. Always on head boy and girl duty. Probably snog in the broom closets when they're on duty"

"I think your problem is that you aren't used to being rejected. It's not hard to work out that Teddy just wants to get to know _you _aside from all the bs"

Victoire considered the advice then hopped down from the desk, offering me a rare sincere smile. "Thanks, Uncle Harry"

I returned the smile, slightly sadly. "You don't have to call me that anymore"

"I know I don't, Uncle Harry"

**xoxoxox**

A brutal chess game was midway, I was unfortunately not beating James- he had Weasley blood after all. Sat at the kitchen table was Lily, who was "sat doing her homework" but in actual fact was doing her checkup on me- as was James. I knew all their tactics, they matched what Ron and Hermione did the first time Sirius died. We continued the game but it had gotten to a point where the amount of times Lily was looking up had gotten too many.

"Look, Lily, I'm not like one of the characters in your WonderWitch books okay?"

Lily looked up at me with fake innocence, as though she had no idea what I was talking about. "I never said you were?"

"Well why are you two always checking up on me?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

They exchanged a look. "Look Dad, Lily and I are just worried about you" James shrugged.

"Well you don't need to be. I've dealt with death and stuff before, okay?"

"Yeah we know, just think that's proved you've been through enough" he stared at me soberly and unflinchingly.

I knew they were just being caring, and immediately regretted my outburst, so I apologised to them and continued the game- even with the slight awkwardness hanging in the air.

A little while later there was a knock at the door. I felt my heart soar slightly, was it Hermione? Wincing slightly at how pathetic I was I went and answered it, stood before me was Albus.

"Al" I said, knowing the shock was clear on my face. "Come in"

Albus hesitated for a moment, but nodded, crossing the threshold. His face fell slightly at the sight of his siblings, who were sat gaping at him. I didn't blame them, it had been a long time since my three children were together, with me. He walked over and sat uncomfortably on the couch, looking like he had a lot to say and like he was bottling it more and more the longer he had to wait. James and Lily exchanged looks.

"Checkmate" James proclaimed, standing up abruptly.

"Me and James are gonna head out now Dad, I want to get to the library before it's dark" she said rushed, crossing the room to give me a kiss on the cheek and Albus a clap on the shoulder.

"Yeah, see you guys" James nodded, heading out.

Albus and I were left alone then, and he took a deep breath before reciting what he'd probably been rehearsing all day. He rarely did impromptu. "Look, I know I've been really weird this last year. I know that. But I want you to truly know why, because I know you worry about me and you shouldn't have to right now. It's just when you and mum were arguing all the time it was always you starting it, she'd do one little thing and you would start having a go-"

I slowly closed my eyes, feeling a lump in the back of my throat, I could sell his mum out. Tell him the truth about why we split up. I _could _do that. But I was better than that.

"-and I guess ever since I've blamed you for the divorce. Blamed you for splitting up our family. Which is why I accused you of being with Hermione-"

Once again I winced, oh merlin he had no idea at all.

"-which I know you wouldn't do. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sick of being angry with you, I'm acting like someone I never was or wanted to be. This version of me I despise."

I couldn't help but smile at his words, I had wanted to hear them for so long. "It's okay Al, I always understood"

He tentatively smiled back. "I'm sorry about Sirius"

"Yeah me too"

Albus smiled again, and for the first time in a while I felt like things were on the up, for once.


	10. Chapter 9 The Funeral

**Chapter song: The Funeral- Band of Horses**

My hand shook as I adjusted my dress robes in front of the mirror. Swearing I just haphazardly threw it over myself and moved on to the impossible task of flattening my hair. I also gave that up, I didn't know what I was doing, for the short time I knew Sirius he didn't prioritize appearance. All I needed was to be presentable, not immaculate or perfect- presentable. Just the thought of him sent a fresh wave of pain throughout me, roughly I grabbed the bottle of firewhiskey I'd abandoned the night before and took a shot of it, coughing. I then stowed the bottle out of sight, I couldn't be drunk. Instead I reminded myself it was better than all the funerals after the war, the yearly memorial services. While they were taking place I felt so low, we all did me, Ron and Hermione.

Hermione and Ron were going to be there, I wondered how Hermione would react to me. I was fairly sure it "still wasn't time" for her to come back to me. She would probably keep her distance and I would stand alone, then again I probably wouldn't. James was going to come to service, he was the only one of my children that I was allowing to come, seeing as he was partially named after Sirius and was the eldest of my children. James, Teddy and I would be travelling up to Godric's Hollow, where the service would take place, Sirius was to be buried next to my parents just as Remus had with Tonks. Almost all the Marauders reunited, it was nice in a way. I had skipped breakfast that morning, I doubted I could stomach it, or the apologies being spoken to me across the teachers table.

The boys and I flooed to my house from my chambers. Both smiled when we emerged from the fireplace, both had spent a lot of time growing up here. After his parents death he went to his grandmother, Andromeda, but he also spent a lot of time with me. Even though she had her reservations about Tonks being with a werewolf she had grown quite fond of him and didn't want Teddy to forget his father. So he spent a lot of time with his godfather, and in a lot of ways I saw Teddy as one of my own children. James did too, James saw him as an older brother figure that he never had. He was the closest to Teddy out of all my children, when they were little they would always go off together and play what they believed to be "more mature games".

"In a way it's kinda nice to be home" James said appreciatively, looking around.

"I've always liked it here" Teddy agreed in a quieter voice, I knew today would be hard on him. He would be visiting his parents graves while he was here. I clapped his shoulder, we would all be spending extended time at the graveyard. James and I would be visiting James and Lily Sr. We walked out of the house and I locked it on our way out, one of the neighbors waved at me as we exited.

The church was surprisingly full, even though Sirius had been cleared of all charges I had still assumed many people still would have their problems with him. There were many people of his age group, almost all of the order was there and of course all the red-haired Weasley children (Arthur and Molly's) were present. It was with the usual dull ache I acknowledged that Fred was missing. Dean had his arm wrapped around Ginny, which I regarded not as angrily as I would have done before, weirdly enough I almost didn't care. Hermione was sat, banished, away from the Weasleys and next to Mcgonagall, who regarded me with a curt nod and Hermione gave me a small smile.

I had picked out everything for the funeral and it all seemed to fall into place perfectly, it was a quiet, simple service as I knew Sirius definately wasn't one for church. Ron, Hagrid and I took the coffin out, followed by the procession. Hagrid was sobbing loudly as he set down his side of the coffin, shaking it to the point where Ron and I nearly dropped it. As it was lowered into the ground I finally felt the tears clouding my vision and the lump in my throat that had been present since the start of the service became a jagged rock.

Then suddenly I felt a small, warm hand close round mine. I didn't even have to look to know who's hand it was either, her fingers fit in the between my own perfectly. Hermione had come to me, just as Ginny had at Dumbledore's funeral, and held my hand. She had come back to me. The lump seemed to have had it's edges filed down and was now more bearable in my throat. Pain and grief was still swelling round me, but it was more bearable to me now.

I leant my head towards her ear. "Thankyou" I whispered, my voice choking slightly. As the tears started to lessen I was very aware of Ron's eyes on us, his expression unreadable, the traces of tears still evident. He had wanted to stand and sit with me, but I insisted he would be best with his family. The Weasley women were all in tears and Arthur and Bill were silently crying, the remaining Weasley's all looked close to tears but not quite the same- they weren't as close to Sirius. Everyone stepped forward to wave their wands and cast some dirt over the coffin.

The service moved on to the wake which was to be held at my house, which I'd been visiting throughout the week preceding the funeral to prepare. A lot of the time was mingling and reminiscing the better times with Sirius, before the death of my parents. I was complimented by various old friends of my parents on the rebuild of the house, and every time I redirected them to Molly Weasley as she was of course head of the rebuild wedding present. Finally, I extracted myself from Mungdungus who was wailing about not meaning to take all his heirlooms from the house, and went to give a speech- by standing on the chair in my living room.

"Shut it you lot!" George shouted, in his usual polite manner.

I couldn't help but give a small smile. "Thanks George" I acknowledged. "Right, I'm not great at speeches, I've never been that guy really but I'll do my best-"  
>A few people gave some encouraging chuckles.<p>

"-Sirius wasn't in my life for as long as I wanted. I only had about two years with him all together, and spent even less with him. He was like a father, brother, best friend all rolled into one. Some might say he wasn't the best role model he smoked too much and drank too much-"

More fond chuckles as people clearly remembered that about him.

"-but he loved me, as a family member, and I'd never truly had that until him. Whenever I was worried about something, which with the circumstances I always was, he was a letter away and I knew even though he was on the run he would drop everything if he smelt any trouble. Sirius lost 13 years in prison rotting for a crime he didn't commit, part of me regrets the amount of time I wasted believing he was to blame. But the man who did it, Peter Pettigrew, his final act was one of sacrifice and redemption, I'm not sure if my parents, or Sirius, or Remus could ever forgive him for what he did, but maybe they did. A whole group of friends wiped out, before they even hit their 40s, it seems unfair- unjust. War is cruel, I'm fairly sure many of the room have suffered the casualties of it as well-"

I raised my glass to George, who had his arm wrapped around a tearful Angelina, and he too welled up slightly and raised it back.

"-Now we've had our sadness- let's remember Sirius for who he was. Impulsive, brave and fun, forever young. To Sirius!"

When I jumped down from the chair I was met by a tearful Hermione who smiled at me, and that was enough. More than enough.

**xoxoxoxox**

I had thrown off my dress robes a long time ago and changed into scruffy tracksuit bottoms and a grey tshirt. Now the truly low feeling set in, now I was alone, I had been uplifted slightly by Lily running up to me as I re-entered Hogwarts and grappling me in a tight hug. Hermione coming back to me had also helped, but now that I was trapped in my thoughts, alone, I couldn't help but run everything from the day through my mind over and over again. Sirius's coffin. My parents grave. Teddy struggling to stand as he sobbed over his own parents grave. James helping him back to the house. Leaving Sirius behind.

Raking a hand through my hair I went into my kitchen area and dug through the cupboards until I found another bottle of firewhiskey, then popped off the bottle top with my wand. I was simply pacing and drinking the events of the day flowing through my mind and poisoning it.

My door opened suddenly and I was faced by the one person who could make this okay. Hermione stood slightly breathless, still in her dress robes and looking radiant with her curls cascading over her shoulders and her cheeks red from the cold. She had clearly only just gone back. My heart lifted slightly as it was obvious I was the first person she came to.

"Oh Harry" she sighed, taking in my forlorn appearance, my slumped shoulders, my sad eyes.

"You came back" I said simply, her chocolate eyes meeting mine.

Hermione smiled. "I had to, you needed me"

Shaking my head I strode forward and wrapped her in a hug, smelling her sweet scent. "Do we wade through the shit now?"

"You aren't ready to yet" her answer was into my ear, her breath tickling me. "Besides, you were right. I always run and I'm tired of it. When I got back here all I knew was you were the first person I wanted to see, and I decided that was reason enough"

I tipped her chin up to look her in the eyes, I felt my heart racing and beating like a drum. Not even a drum, more like when there's a storm and the rain batters the window, I could hardly believe she couldn't hear it. Hermione bit her lip, closed her eyes, I could practically hear the clogs in her brain whirring. Then she shook her head, as though to block them out, and suddenly brought her head forward and let her lips meet mine. I gasped slightly then reciprocated, this kiss was better than the last. I held her tight and let our lips work of their own accord, in a heavenly way. Hermione had the softest lips I'd ever felt, Ginny had always worn lipgloss so her kisses were sticky and Cho of course sobbed through my first kiss so that wasn't much to go by. She just felt right against me, her body seemed to fit mine so well. It seemed insane I'd never realised these things about her.

There was a large banging knock at my door. "HARRY! HERMIONE! OPEN UP! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" came the voice of Ronald Weasley.


	11. Chapter 10 New Perspective

**Chapter Song: New Perspective- Panic! At The Disco**

__**sorry that it's been a while, exam period again. hope everyone had a good holiday and thankyou for the reviews, i really do appreciate them.**

**so thankyou: anonymous (lavenwhore, i laughed), dennisud, harrynmione, starboy454, Kaleidoscope77 :)**

**decided we needed to see Hermione's side of things for this chapter, so here is a chapter from her perspective.**

_I tipped her chin up to look her in the eyes, I felt my heart racing and beating like a drum. Not even a drum, more like when there's a storm and the rain batters the window, I could hardly believe she couldn't hear it. Hermione bit her lip, closed her eyes, I could practically hear the clogs in her brain whirring. Then she shook her head, as though to block them out, and suddenly brought her head forward and let her lips meet mine. I gasped slightly then reciprocated, this kiss was better than the last. I held her tight and let our lips work of their own accord, in a heavenly way. Hermione had the softest lips I'd ever felt, Ginny had always worn lipgloss so her kisses were sticky and Cho of course sobbed through my first kiss so that wasn't much to go by. She just felt right against me, her body seemed to fit mine so well. It seemed insane I'd never realised these things about her._

_There was a large banging knock at my door. "HARRY! HERMIONE! OPEN UP! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" came the voice of Ronald Weasley._

* * *

><p>I pulled myself away from Harry instantly, as though he had just transformed into Malfoy right before my eyes. His eyes were wide behind his glasses and for a moment we were frozen there, unmoving and unsure of what to do. Fortunately I could usually be counted on for original ideas and somewhat quick thinking as the pounding continued, even though I knew it could only have been seconds it felt like hours that we stood there, leaving Ron outside, his suspicion growing over the time.<p>

"Get on the couch, I will just look like I was comforting you, okay?" I whispered, not waiting for an answer and choosing instead to forcibly pull him towards the couch. Harry didn't reply, simply following my instruction with no comment and sitting warily on the couch, pulling his forgotten bottle of firewhiskey back towards himself and pointed his wand towards the door to unlock it.

"Come in Ron" he called in a defeated voice, hanging his head down. Tentatively I put a hand on his back, being sure that it could be perceived as nothing more than a gesture of friendship.

The door was pushed open in a very ronlike way, in with a bang then shutting much quieter than it began. Ron's eyes narrowed as he viewed the two of us for a second and I felt Harry tense under my hand, knowing his panic mirrored mine. It was kind of Ron to check on Harry, a best friend thing to do, and to brave the possibility of seeing me was even braver of him in the circumstances but right now we could of done without it. Harry and I were so close, I could feel it, to defining exactly what this new territory we were entering was, it was foreign and terrifying but I couldn't pretend not to have feelings for him anymore. I had been masking it for a while, certain he could not feel the same way, but then he kissed me... or I kissed him, I couldn't be sure and finally I felt like he wanted me back. It was the best feeling, until the news came, and it broke. Now things could be better, and I didn't want it for me- for Harry, to help him deal with Sirius.

"Look mate, I just wanted to come see if you're alright-" Ron began, his suspicion seemed to have lessened.

Ron had always had problems with feeling he wasn't good enough, it came from being the youngest son after many brothers who all had accomplishments in different areas, from being best friends with Harry Potter. I understood it, more than anyone ever had, when I finally gave in with my long lasting feelings for him they appeared to go away, he finally felt good enough. His best friend didn't get the girl. He did. The thought of taking it away from him, especially after how far he had come from when we were at school, was devastating. It was one of the biggest reasons why he couldn't know. That, and the children of course. Things would be beyond messy.

"Yeah, yeah" Harry's voice broke into my thoughts, "I'm glad mate, I was struggling to be honest. Hermione has been really helpful"

Ron appeared to make himself look me in the eye, yet I didn't quite see the same flash of pain I used to, there was still a bit of something but not the same. Like it had been dulled. He nodded at me before sitting the other side of Harry.

It was strange, the three of us together again, the golden trio. Any other time I would have been over the moon about it, but right now the tension was thick. i was terrified Ron would know just by sharing the same airspace as us. Abruptly I rose. His head snapped at the very movement and confusion crossed the features I once craved to see.

"I'm gonna get going- you two probably need time to talk things through" I smiled as convincingly as I could.

Harry watched me rise, his expression conflicted between following me and checking I was okay (which was the unrealistic plan) and sitting there and saying goodbye as any friend would (which was what was going to happen).

"You don't have to leave on my account" Ron said awkwardly in a way which implied he hoped that I would.

"No, it's okay, it was nice seeing you again... despite the circumstances"

"Yeah you too"

We both let the awkward silence envelope for a moment before I nodded, more to my self. "Er- I'll come see you tomorrow Harry I hope you're alright"

"Thanks Hermione" Harry smiled, letting his eyes speak apologies for him.

I nodded once more, then realised how much of a fool I looked, and walked briskly out of the room. The moment I was out of there I collapsed against the door, mind racing and even though it was the worse timing possible I could not help but smile, remembering the kiss we had shared before Ron had interrupted. Eventually I pulled myself away from the door and towards my chambers to find a surprise waiting outside it.

"Mum, we need to talk"

The determined look which Rose Weasley was known for was currently residing on her slowly maturing features. Her shock of impossible to tame red hair surrounded the face like a cloud, her buisnesslike glare being cast down her father's long nose. Next to her was Hugo, with his straight red hair similar to his father's and delicate still young face also doing it's best to look at me with a buisnesslike expression, however it never did cause fear the way his sister's version did.

"Er- now? It's been a tough day" I hedged, raking a hand through my hair.

"Yes. Now." she said firmly, staring at me with raised eyebrows, waiting for me to unlock the door.

I accepted defeat and removed the wards on my chambers to admit my children, Rose storming through first with Hugo behind her, looking back to throw me a slightly apologetic look. Rose marched over to the table and pulled two chairs across to one side of the table and left one just on the other side, pulling Hugo to the two chair side giving me the feel I was entering an interrogation. Rose had gained a lot of my personality traits, but they had mixed in with Ron's to form the most unstoppable person I had ever met. She was clever, as I was, but at the same time she was relentless and got angry fairly quickly which was courtesy of her father. Hugo on the other time was more calm, yet he was funny like his father and was also clever but not in the know-it-all way I had unfortunately passed on to Rose.

"I'm not going to mess around, I'm just going to get straight to the point, it's nearly curfew after all" Rose said, her eyes fixed on mine. "You've got feelings for Uncle Harry, haven't you"

I blanched for a moment, unable to believe someone so young could be so perceptive. Normally I would formulate a good enough lie that would throw her off the trail but for once in my life my mind had gone blank and I just sat there. My eyes flicked to Hugo who watched my expression and comprehension dawned on his face, I could imagine that when Rose told him her theory he didn't believe her but now the evidence was right in front of him.

"Don't lie now, you've made it obvious" Hugo said quietly, the shock still evident is his voice.

"Okay yes, yes I do" I admitted, the fact of it filling me up as it stared me dead on.

"I knew it" Rose said, as though she had simply proved Hugo wrong on a question in Wizards Trivial Pursuit. "It's been so obvious. All the looks you thought nobody saw, the constant visits, the awkwardness around us. I'm assuming it's reciprocated?"

With a sigh, I nodded. Triumphantly Rose grinned towards her brother to not have her smile returned, his brow was furrowed.

"You know how wrong this is, right?" he asked, slightly angrily. "Dad's BEST friend?"

His words cut me. "I know that Hugh, we don't know what we're going to do"

"Oh" he shook his head with clear anger, his usual laid back attitude being broken in a matter of minutes. "So, the pair of you made the decision without consulting your children about it? The people who should be some of the first you go to. Nice, real nice"

His hands were balled up into fists and his ears were reddening, the usual chocolate brown eyes were narrowed in anger and his mouth was turned resolutely down.

"Look Hugo, we were going to tell people we aren't even properly an item-"

"But you would of gone straight into a proper relationship, wouldn't you" he cut across me, the fact he was only eleven/twelve did not matter at this moment, he had always seemed more mature than his age and right now I felt like I was arguing with an adult, which made it harder. "You don't care who you hurt! You are so selfish! It's unbelievable! Bet that's really why you took the job here, to get close to Harry, to hurt Dad more than you ever have! I hate you! I really hate you"

He was full on shouting now, tears in his chocolate eyes, finally his maturity cracked and he argued like a child again. Tears filled my own eyes to see him in a state like this, to hear him say he hated me was the worst thing I'd ever heard. It didn't matter that it simply came from an angry place, the words were still delivered with gut anger and venom, packed to hurt. Rose looked at the pair of us, anguish in her eyes, I knew she didn't expect things to turn out this way and didn't want them to either, I couldn't blame her if I tried.

"Hugh calm down-" Rose attempted, regret clear in her eyes at bringing him here.

"Shut up Rose! You supported this, didn't you, I could tell from the moment you told me!" Hugo spat out at his sister, his eyes burning with rage. "You wait till Lily hears this..."

"No Hugo! Please don't" I begged. "They deserve to hear it from their own father, when he's ready. Please Hugo, don't go"

Hugo had begun to walk towards the door, at these words he span slightly round again and examined me for a moment. "Fine, but it's not for you, it's for them. You are nothing to me"

He left the room and I could feel the tears surfacing, but I wouldn't cry. I had done enough crying and it was time to stop. Rose moved towards me, slipping an arm around me, appreciating I just needed some comfort.

"I'm sorry" she whispered into my hair, sounding sincere, and I accepted her apology. It wasn't her fault after all, it was mine.


	12. Chapter 11 Feel So Close

**Chapter Song: Feel So Close- Calvin Harris **

**I meant to post this earlier, but I was unaware that was back up so I apologise. Another fillery type chapter here, but we get some Teddy/Harry time which is kind of cool. **

Ron and I watched Hermione's retreating back and I stole a side glace to see if Ron was gazing at her the way I probably was but for the first time in years it wasn't there. When he stared at her you used to be able to see the love melting in his eyes, but he just stared at her back uninterested like most friends do. It was selfish and wrong of me to think it, and I was aware of that, but I was beyond relieved at the idea that Ron may finally be getting over Hermione Granger. Mainly for the reason that our friendship could recover should Hermione and I go anywhere. Ron was wringing his hands, his eyes pleading with me to ask him what was wrong, so he could get whatever this problem he had out of the way.

"What's up Ron?"

He let out a heavy sigh and wouldn't make eye contact with me, choosing instead to stare at the wall behind my head, all fire he'd arrived with diminished and looking like a naughty school boy.

"I need to ask you something"

"What?" I asked, a little impatient. If whatever was so important to approach me today of all days he should at least just come out with it, instead of procrastinating.

"Are you, er- are you with Hermione?" Ron finally said, his ears going red and continuing to stare behind me in clear embarrassment.

Right at that moment I could have come clean, just said listen Ron, mate, I kind of am. I could be brave and explain everything to him and accept the likely punch in the face without retaliating and with grace as I could understand his motives. But of course I didn't do that, that's what the guys do in rom-com films where they stand up for their girl no matter what. I could face the darkest wizard of modern times but I couldn't be honest with my own best friend.

"What?" I played dumb, hating myself a little for it. "Just then? Yeah she came over to see how I was"

Ron sighed, his clear discomfort was being prolonged by me just to save my own skin. "No I mean...I er- I... I mean like dating I guess"

"Oh right, no, of course not" I lied.

Relief washed across his face, increasing my guilt and he settled down on the couch properly rather than the uptight way he was sat before. I let myself relax, that meant he'd bought my weak reply. Then I offered the bottle of firewhiskey to him and Ron filled up a glass with a grim smile and brought it to his lips, his eyes calming. Then suddenly he nodded to himself as though making a decision and turned to face me.

"I met someone" Ron blurted out suddenly, and I just gaped at this information he threw at me.

"Er- good? Who?" I said weakly, dragging a hand over my face, feeling eternally tired.

Ron's face brightened up at the prospect of talking about this mystery girlfriend of his. "Her name is Sarah, hang on I think I have a picture of us on me somewhere"

He fumbled in his pockets dragging out every small possession he has ever had before finally grabbing his wallet, finally he removed what appeared to be one of those photo strips from the muggle photo booths. I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows in surprise, his girlfriend must be at least a muggle born- but it was more likely that she was a muggle. Ron handed the photo to me and I found it to be moving, each photo on the strip a different typical lovey dovey action with the final photo featuring the couple in a long kiss. Sarah appeared to be a pretty girl with bright blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes with the most infectious smile possible. She was so different to Hermione and Lavender- his only proper girlfriends, it could only be assumed Ron didn't have a type. Then again, the same could be said for me.

"So what do you think?" he asked somewhat anxiously, waiting for approval.

"She's pretty," was all I could reply.

"That's it?"

"Well I've never met her mate, I can't really say much else" I shrugged, handing the photo back.

"She's really nice"

"I'm sure she is, importantly, does she know?"

"Know what?" Ron asked infuriatingly.

"That you're a wizard"

"Oh right. Well no. But it's only been three months" he said offhandedly, setting down his glass and standing up.

I wanted to ask why he hadn't told me about her yet, but then I remembered I was likely about to start dating his ex so now would not be a good time to be casting accusations and judgements. Instead I nodded in a conclusive way.

"I'm guessing you want a bit of space now, it's been a tough day. I just wanted to see how you were, check in on my best mate" Ron said heading towards the door.

"Well it's really good of you"

Ron nodded again and headed towards the door when a thought suddenly must have come to his mind as he turned round. "Oh yeah, one more thing! On my way here I could of sworn I saw your Lily and Scorpius Malfoy together"

Protective father instincts swooped over me in that moment. "No, you must be mistaken"

"No, the boy's the spit of his father right?"

I knew that he was right there. "Oh well, I don't know. Anyway, I'll see you thanks again for stopping by."

Once Ron had gone I sat down, all the events of the day washing over me. I would be glad to go to bed tonight, getting the funeral out of the way had given me some space to heal and think and finally get closure. Now I was going to focus on a new project to take my mind off things, Project What The Hell Is My Daughter Doing With A Malfoy- or Project Scorlily for short.

**xoxox**

A week later I was taking a stroll across the grounds of Hogwarts, walking off my lunch and just in general pondering the many layers of drama which had collected in my life. The prime one at the moment was Hermione and I, the reason that was top of the list was it had sprouted off branches of other problems. Heaviest, and thickest of all the branches was Hugo Weasley. Hugo had not taken to the news too well, and neither had I at the news that Hermione had told her children but that had been an argument in it's self, and was like a ticking time bomb.

At the thought of Hugo he actually appeared to the side of me in my path, sat on steps of the front door of Hogwarts staring at me with a look that could silence Voldemort himself. I chose to continue the path and offer him a weak smile, which was shot down my the cold glare. It was slightly disconcerting to see my nephew giving me that look but I had made my bed, now I had to lie in it.

That brings us to problem 2, the sneaking around. Having a somewhat secret relationship was difficult, especially as my children felt they still had to look after me following the funeral. It was truly a nice thought, one that was appreciated, but the amount of times Hermione had to hide in my wardrobe whilst I guided Lily away from my chambers was ridiculous. Hermione and I spent most nights together when possible, even if we are just marking papers, we had accepted that we were sort-of dating which meant secret looks and sneaked kisses.

I was tackling a separate layer of drama currently however, which was Project Scorlily. My attempts so far had been pathetic, Lily never gave up information no matter what questions I asked and none of his Slytherin friends had any idea- but they wouldn't have any anyway. At one point I'd been close to asking Malfoy Senior- not that close though. But after having that insane idea I came up with a much better one, it came from the realization that I was missing my most vital piece of kit. The Marauders Map.

Anyway, on my walk I came across my way of getting the map. Ted Lupin. Teddy was sat facing the lake, despite the freezing weather, looking out with his eyes far away and appearing to be deep in thought. He barely noticed as I sat next to him and we sat in silence for a moment, before I chose to break it.

"What's up Teddy?" I asked him, we were due for a chat anyway- he was my godson.

"Nothing"

"Is it girl trouble?" I guessed, with teenagers it usually was girl/boy trouble.

Teddy turned to me suspicous and surprised. "How did you know?"

"I was a teenager once" I said, wincing at how much of an old man I sounded.

"It's Victoire and Louisa" he admitted, watching the Giant Squid emerge at the sight of the weak winter sun. I nodded encouragingly and he carried on. "You see, I am really confused. I always got a good vibe off Victoire but, not wanting to be rude, she acted like a bit of a slut- and it just didn't interest me. But just lately she's been talking to me normally, not making flirty comments and just showing that she actually is a nice girl. I don't know whether that means she doesn't like me any more, because now I like her more- if that makes any sense"

I sensed it would be best to not admit to the boy that it was me who had spoken to Victoire and made his life confusing. "And Louisa?"

Teddy sighed deeply, pulling blades of grass up under his fingers and dropping them again. "She's really nice, really pretty, really smart and has been a good friend. It's just lately she's been hinting at wanting to be more and a week or two ago I would of asked her out. But now, now I don't know"

"Maybe it's because Louisa is so perfect for you, you seem to be more attracted to Victoire. So maybe you should see how things play out, but don't be stringing anyone along. Then again, I'm shit with women as you can tell, so I am probably the worse person to be playing amateur counciller"

He laughed . "No that's actually good advice, the sort of godfather behaviour you should be displaying"

I frowned slightly at his tone but couldn't help but grin back at him, Teddy had that calming effect. He was the ultimate guy to just chill with. "You feeling better after the funeral?"

"Yeah, it's always sad visiting mum and dad but it reminds me of them because if I haven't visited for a while I feel like I'm losing them. I know that sounds dumb"

"It doesn't sound dumb at all, I see you in the courtyard sometimes"

"It's the one place where I can feel them the most, how morbid is that? Right where they died" Great. I had singlehandedly managed to bring his mood back down, he had returned to his butchering of the grass- his eyes looking angry.

"It's okay to get upset about it sometimes, I always did- still do about my parents"

Teddy paused his gardening to look at me with a slightly sorry look in his eyes. "I always forget you were the same as me, if not worse. I just can't believe Bellatrix Lestrange could kill both her cousin and her neice with no more than a maniacal laugh, how sick is she?"

"Very" I agreed in a way I hoped was conclusive, this conversation was just bringing our moods down and bringing up the unchangeable past.

"Anyway" he said "To change the subject, how's things going"

It was then that I remembered what I had come to him for in the first place. "They're okay, I wanted to ask you a favour actually"

"Yeah?"

"Could you obtain a document for me, by any chance?" I asked, with an attempt at a winning smile.

"I'm guessing this isn't easy to "obtain"?" Teddy said resignedly.

"Well you see, it looks just like blank parchment folded up and is sitting somewhere in James Potter's possessions" I blurted to be met with a look that said "I need more information than that". So of course, I gave him it. "It was co-created by my dad, your dad, Sirius and Peter-" I scowled "Pettigrew"

Teddy frowned. "Why is this the first I've heard of it?"

"Because your Dad wasn't exactly the head mischief maker it never ended up in his possession, but fell into mine. He let me keep it by the way" I felt it all needed to be justified, as though Ted Lupin, Head Boy would get his own Head of House in trouble.

Sighing, but satisfied with the information given Teddy accepted my challenge and together we sat there for a while. We were sat on the bank where I saved Sirius, godson and godfather. I felt the same feeling Teddy described earlier as this realisation of where we were hit me, I felt Sirius' presence watching another godfather and godson. It felt right.


	13. Chapter 12 Did it Hurt?

**Chapter Song: Did It Hurt- Never Shout Never**

**A/N The second half of this chapter is from the POV of Ron, by the way.**

"Harry James Potter will you put that map away!" Hermione sighed, trying to reach across me to snatch the marauders map out of my grip.

Teddy had successfully stolen the map two days ago, unfortunately it did not take James long to notice the disappearance. For what I had gathered Albus had become the main suspect, under the motivation of jealousy, lifting it from his dormitory and refusing to admit to his robbery. Or at least that's what I had heard from Lily, who I was watching like a hawk. I made hourly checks on the map of an evening when she wasn't with me and had so far been disappointed with my results.

"I saw them last night and if I keep an eye out I probably will again!" I batted her hand away in mild frustration, she just did not understand a fathers need to protect his daughter.

Hermione sighed again and rolled off the couch to go and make a pot of coffee to ensure she would a stay awake, tonight would be George Weasley's annual 5th of December Christmas party, with all the adult and older children family members and friends in attendance. This of course extended to me, and surprisingly Hermione. Apparently George had never been particularly angry with Hermione as he could sympathise with her. When George had first started dating Angelina he was shunned by his family, who could not understand that she had merely been Fred's long ago crush and one time Yule Ball date.

"Harry you're paranoid" she informed me simply.

Grumbling I closed the map and strolled over to meet her at the kitchen counter, slipping my arms around her slim waist. Reluctantly she smiled towards me and I snuck a kiss on her lips, which she responded to as easily as she would respond to an answer in school. Part of me still didn't believe she was with me, it seemed like it wasn't happening to me. I spent most of my life depending on Hermione so it still seemed outrageous to me she could see me in a way more than friends.

"What are you brooding about now?" Hermione asked playfully, gently pulling my chin to make me face her.

"How lucky I am"

She blushed a deep red and her face was unreadable, but deep in her features was a clear happiness with settled the worry that she did not want me to say what I just did.

"You're amazing Harry, you don't need to feel the lucky one" Hermione kissed me again softly, stroking my cheek.

"I do, and I wish I could show you off" I had felt that longing for a while, but I knew it wasn't that straight forward. Nothing ever is. "Take you on dates round Hogsmeade, holding your hand proudly"

Hermione smiled sadly. "I'm scared"

"Me too" I admitted with a sigh, pulling her in closer again, scared myself of losing her.

**xoxoxox**

Hermione and I met James and Albus to go to the party location, as older children they were invited and James wanted to talk to his Uncle George for a while and Hermione wanted to get ready with Angelina so it made sense for us all to go there. George answered the door looking unprepared for his guests, evident due to his missing ear. James gaped at the deep hole where his ear once was, as all the family knew it was there but never saw it. Albus had more tact and discretely stamped on his brothers foot, which finally made James shut his mouth. Apparently not discretely enough.

"'Ear 'Ear" George grinned, nodding towards the offending feet.

James smiled sheepishly. "Hiya Uncle George" he and Albus chorused, each being rewarded with a handshake as they crossed the threshold.

"Harry my man" he reached out to shake my hand and clap my back, letting me pass.

Somewhat protectively I kept my eye out on the exchange of Hermione and George, however it appeared I need not worry.

"Long time no see Hermione" George said softly, kissing her hand.

I saw the happiness fill her long suffering face. "I know, it's good to see you"

Their exchange was broken by a somewhat squealing sounding noise coming out of Angelina Weasley's mouth. "Hermione!"

She ran forward and embraced Hermione tightly, it had been a while since they'd spoken but it was still a little excessive in my opinion. Or maybe it was just because I had never seen Hermione act like that in my life, or Angelina for that matter. When I had met Angelina she was quidditch player/captain and tougher than old boots. Hermione responded to this girly embrace with a slight squeal herself and an equally tight hug.

Luckily us males were saved having to stand around awkwardly as they both half ran towards the bedroom, insisting on catching up and comparing the dress robes Hermione had brought with Angelina's. All four of us exchanged a certain look, a thank Merlin, look before George spoke.

"Er- I'm going to return to the bathroom. I was in the middle of fixing on my party ear when you turned up"

George exited and at this movement James Potter picked up his lifelong habit of needing to explore any new room he went into. He was drawn immediately to the large cabinet of vinyls in the corner of the room.

"Wow" he breathed, misting the glass as he gazed at one in particular.

"Big Expectrono fan then Jay?" George asked with a slight smirk, slapping the remainder of his aftershave on his face.

"That's an understatement" I half muttered.

James had become obsessed with the rapper Expectrono sometime two years ago, some point in the wizarding world somebody decided rap needed to make an appearance in wizarding music. And so, Expectrono was became a huge star, and the centre of my teenage son's world.

"He is just the greatest artist in the world" he said earnestly, practically squealing like a little girl when George put him out of his misery by opening the cabinet and passing him the vinyl. Albus rolled his eyes at me, never being one to be that interested in music and even less Expectrono when he was being blasted out of the walls at him all of the holidays. "How did you even get this? It's not been released yet?"

George laughed at the unmasked jealousy clouding James' tone. "Went to his concert a few months back"

It was lucky Angelina and Hermione reemerged not long after this revelation as George was no doubt tiring of the 50 questions being asked by James. I had always stuck to 80s-90s rock from the Muggle world, as Albus did, so James had nobody to particularly rejoice in his love of Wizard Rap with. The two women stepped out of the bedroom, finally ready.

Angelina looked gorgeous, her lean body in a straight dress, the bright blue colour contrasting with her dark skin in a perfect way. But I didn't really notice her, it was Hermione who caught my eye. She had used some intricate charm to fix her hair into a complicated updo, with flowers woven through. Her chocolate eyes were warm with minimal makeup and the red lipstick only used to accentuate her plump lips. Hermione was wearing dress robes of a red colour, which was low cut enough to tease but not too low to be innapropriate. It synched in to show her tiny waist then rounded off to flaunt her fantastic rear, men tend to notice these details, she looked as beautiful as she did at the Yule Ball but more grown up. I wanted to grab her and tell her all this of course, but I had my children there, my unknowing children.

"You both look great" I smiled, decided this was suitable enough for a friend to say but when everyone appeared to look away I offered Hermione a wink and mouthed "You look beautiful".

"You all look quite handsome too, thanks Potter" Angelina grinned giving me a quick nod before looking her husband over approvingly and going to his arm, blushing a light pink as he whispered something- knowing George- inappropriate in her ear.

"Right, we all look great. Decided-" George said with finality, itching to get to the party venue. James started to open his mouth but was interrupted by George somewhat impatiently. "James I will owl you the record soon, okay"

Grinning triumphantly, James opened the door to let us out, and unmissed by any of us he managed to jab his brother on the side on the way out. Revenge was always carried out eventually.

**xoxoxoxox**

**(Ron)**

I knocked on the door of Sarah's small flat, she had had chemotherapy today and I wanted to stop by before going to the party, I didn't even plan on staying at the party very long. Sarah needed me. She answered fairly quickly, surprised to see me.

"Ron" Sarah said breathlessly, I knew she hated it when I came round without telling her. She was constantly under the impression that seeing her without her wig on would make me run a mile. It was a little insulting really.

"I'm not staying long, I just wanted to see you" I said a little sheepishly, behind my back conjuring flowers. "And to bring you these" I added, pushing my wand back up my sleeve.

"Oh Ron" she visibly softened, taking the flowers appreciatively and giving them a deep sniff. "They are lovely"

Sarah stepped away from the door to let me in, and rested the flowers on the side for a moment before searching for her wig.

"Sarah, you don't need to do that anymore. You look great without your wig, trust me" I said a little gruffly, feelings were still not my strong point- especially when it came to women.

"I still feel like you'll run a mile though"

"Even if you had stage four cancer I'd stick with you, I may not be many things but one I like to think I am is loyal. I've run out on my best friend at an important time before and learnt my lesson"

I thanked Merlin that I had researched cancer in a muggle textbook when I started seeing Sarah, otherwise she would probably see me as the stupidest person in the world. Wizards didn't get cancer, I think it must be something in our blood that means we can't get it- wizards don't tend to do all this looking in the body stuff muggles do. We just take things as they are.

Finally she smiled that infectious smile, even though it was a lesser version of the normal brilliant one she offered it was a smile all the same. Abandoning the search for the wig Sarah went to find a vase for the flowers as I made myself at home in her little living room. Everything about her flat was homely, from the smaller size, to the warm coloured paint on the walls to the family photographs which of course did not move.

Bringing in two cups of tea with her she sat on the couch next to me and automatically lay into me, her strawberry body butter rewarding my nose.

Sarah had developed cancer a couple of months ago, according to the textbook she was one of the luckier ones. Her cancer was only in the lymph nodes under the arm whereas apparently some women who get breast cancer have it spread further along their body and can kill them. I had been shocked to discover all these things, in wizard medicine more often that not if somebody is at 'Mungo's it's because of something they have done to themselves!

"Shouldn't you be going to get ready?" Sarah said softly, absentmindedly stroking my arm.

"Yes" I sighed, nestling closer to her. "But I'd rather stay here with you"

"Come back to me, after the party" she blurted out suddenly. "Stay the night"

The phrase had so many implications and I knew this would be a party I would not be staying long at.

**xoxoxoxox**

Eventually I had managed to tear myself away from Sarah and get ready, I did not intend to stay at the party long, she had never let me that close to her before so this was a real breakthrough in our relationship. Arriving at the hired out studio I made my way in, accepting a glass of champagne and working my way through the room. I got involved in various conversations with old coworkers from the shop and various family friends who had been invited. Finally I reached a family member in the form of Ginny, but she seemed distracted and keen to leave.

"Hey Gin" I grinned at my little sister, hugging and planting a kiss on her head with it's identical red hair, and tried to avoid messing up the fancy updo she had done for herself. "You look nice, by the way"

Ginny smiled back, eyes searching the room for Dean, presumably wanting to make an exit soon. "Hey, I was worried I wouldn't catch you actually, Dean and I want to make a swift exit and head home"

"Not feeling the party?" I asked, scanning the room for my next family member to tackle, Bill seemed to be nearest- even better, he was with Fleur.

"I'm just not in the mood" she shrugged, finally finding Dean and grabbing him. "Besides, I'd rather not have to deal with Harry yet and there's only so many times you can avoid a person without being rude"

"He seemed quite civil with me" Dean piped up as he strolled over, not appearing to care that much that he had left Ginny waiting around.

Ginny furrowed her brow in thought and confusion, but seemed to shake the feeling as leaving seemed more important to her than inquiring into Harry's sudden increase of maturity.

"Anyway" Ginny shrugged it off, ignoring the confusion cast by Dean at the brushing aside of such a revelation. "We'll get going now. Nice to see you Ron, owl me and we'll get together before Christmas, maybe I could set you up with someone?"

I shifted a little guiltily at her last words, as much as they were coming from a good place they we're exactly welcome. But I was not ready to tell and explain to my family about Sarah yet, and she was definitely not ready to meet them. There were too many of them, like an unstoppable force.

"Bye" was all I could say and mumble something non committal that sounded like "That'd be great".

Making my way across the party I started to approach Bill and Fleur when suddenly George appeared with a wide grin and a look in his eye which meant he was going to ask me to do/for something.

"What do you want?" I grumbled slightly, watching the well practiced mock-hurt expression cross his mischievous face.

"That is no way to greet your brother, and host of the party, especially when you are late Ronald Billius Weasley" he scolded in a scarily accurate imitation of their mother.

I just gave him a look which I hate displayed disbelief.

"Okay, okay you've got me! Could you be a dear and grab another case of butterbeer from the back?" he said in a poisonously sweet voice, accompanied with an angelic smile.

Deciding not to answer and just go do it I headed towards the stockroom situated at the back of the studio. It took longer than I expected as various people kept seeing me and just wanted to "catch up" despite my assurances I would be back in a minute. Finally I got away, opening the door to the back to find a couple wrapped in a steamy embrace. Their lips were fiercely working against each other, the woman's leg caught up on the man. Awkwardly I tried to extract myself from the room making little noise but found my foot getting caught on a bucket in the dark and the metal bucket fell with a loud clatter.

The couple sprang apart in shock.

Nothing compared to my shock, when I saw who it was.

**A/N. I just felt a cliffhanger was necessary.**


	14. Chapter 13 No Good

**Chapter Song: No Good- Kate Voegel**

**It has actually been way too long, I apologise, really.**

**Flashback at the end, sexual references, nothing major really. **

"You bloody-" Ron lurched forward to grapple me, but only to be deflected by a swift protego charm.

Hermione stood next to me, her eyes frantic and wand raised. I had flattened himself against the storage shelving, willing myself to suddenly gain the ability to slide into the floor. But I did not have that ability, unfortunately. It was careless of us really, anyone could of walked in on us kissing. That was the worst part, _anyone _could of but of course it had to be him. We had been dancing in an innocent way initially, like we would of as friends, but the chemistry had sizzled too intensely between us and we knew we needed to hide away. It was rare for Ron to be so late to a party, so both of us had assumed that he was not going to show up for some reason. Ron's eyes were wild as he glared at me from the other side of the protective shield. But beyond the anger was betrayal and hurt. I knew I had hurt him badly by this.

"Ron mate-" I began, holding my hands up in a worldly recognized sign of seeking peace.

He snorted wildly, his ears going to such a shade of crimson it looked painful. "Don't you dare call me mate"

"Okay, Ron then" I said, suppressing the urge to roll my eyes or to hex him, or both. "We were going to tell you-"

This was apparently the wrong thing to say, or perhaps there would never be the right thing to say with this. I dared to sneak a quick glance at Hermione. She had composed herself somewhat from the fear she was displaying before, but she still looked faintly alarmed. This was enhanced by her hair still being slightly messy, despite her discipline with it, from our heated kiss which had started all this. However, mostly she appeared to be calculating what would be the best thing to do. Hermione's mind was always working, always thinking of the next move. Some would see it as cold, calculated, unfeeling but those who knew her knew it was simply due to having an advanced mind.

Ron started to go crimson across his entire face now, and I knew that if it was safe enough to touch it, it would be red hot. "Oh well that's even better"

Neither of us answered, even Hermione looked confused.

A breath of hysterical laughter escaped his taut lips, shrill and piercing. "Wow, Hermione? Not getting it? Merlin's beard" he started the laughter again, not a hint of real amusement on his face. "I would rather this was some desperate grope in the cupboard"

Hermione hissed and her shield dropped momentarily, before I lightly touched her hand, in warning, and she raised her wand again to cast another protego charm.

His eyes rested on the tiny touch of my hand on hers, and his mouth twisted in dissatisfaction. "But clearly this little affair has been long drawn out"

"Affair Ronald? What "affair"? You and I are not together, well we were not ever together really were we?" Hermione said angrily, bristling next to me.

I let out a sigh, this exchange was reminding me far too much of the constant bickering they indulged in as friends which would always escalate into the sort of row I was facing now. But this time it had good reason.

"So are you just trying to brush over the obvious fact that it _was_ going on while we were sleeping together? Or when Harry was married?"

Anger flared in me this time, I had intended to come out of this with peace and to wait until he had settled down. I was not stupid enough to believe that this would be settled simply, but rowing was not what I wanted to do. But the throwaway comment he gave was unacceptable, trying to suggest I had been just as deceitful whilst married was below the belt. Ron's expression gave away that he knew that deep down, but he was not backing down. This time, he wouldn't get away with saying those sort of comments.

"How dare you, how dare you suggest I cheated on your own sister! What a shitty thing to say, i actual value marriage vows"

That comment hit home, with a nasty smile on his face, Ron looked at me and said in an equally nasty voice. "Well maybe I should go see what she thinks of this red hot romance you have going on here"

Ron left the room, with a businesslike expression crossing his face. I heard George shout asking whether he had got more butterbeer, then with a jolt I heard his mother speak to him.

"Ronald, what's wrong?" she said, sounding just as worried as Hermione and I about the shade his face had turned.

"Harry and Hermione. Snogging in the cupboard. Having a little affair" he spat out, loudly, and I could assume most of the room heard him.

Turning to Hermione, my mouth was agape in shock at him blurting it out to everybody. Hermione however, looked quite upset, she was forcing herself not to cry, her hand clutched against her mouth. With a sigh I turned her to face me and held her against me, in a way you might comfort a child, holding her head in my hand and pressing my lips to the top of her head. After a short while I pulled myself away, with an apologetic look in my eyes.

"I need to go talk to Ginny before he does, right now I'm sure he's fielding the many questions of the people in the room" I explained, pulling myself gently away.

"Yes I can hear him" Hermione said, in a quiet voice, using her wand to straighten out her appearance.

"Do you mind? Will you be okay with...everyone?" I asked tentatively.

She nodded her head, dangerously close to tears again and I understood that it would probably be best for me to leave her for a while anyway. My only worry was how she would cope alone at the party, which would no doubt be full of angry relatives of Ron. Especially Mrs. Weasley, who still had not properly forgiven her for not marrying Ron. But I knew, the sooner I spoke to Ginny, the sooner I could return to Hermione.

So with one last look at her I disapparated, reappearing outside Ginny's cottage on the outskirts of Devon. Even in my bitter days I had to admit that it was a nice place for the children to spend their summers. It was by the beach and the sea, and was the sort of beach cottage that even had shells around the door. Hastily I cast an Anti-Apparition charm on the surrounding area then approached the door. With a deep breath I knocked on the door, the wood soft underneath my knuckle.

Dean opened the door, shock crossing his face at the sight of me. He was still wearing the trousers from his dress robes, his hair however had abandoned the sleek debonair look he had chosen earlier and his shirt was off, flaunting the irritatingly defined muscles..

"Dean, is Ginny there?" I asked abruptly, an unintentional sneer on my face at his lack of clothing on his upper body, feeling a little guilty as I saw his face fall. I knew how much my few chosen sentences that were almost friendly had meant a lot to him, and now I was back to speaking to him only to speak to Ginny. I knew I should actually feel quite bad, but at the urgency of the moment- I could not.

He stepped aside to let me cross the threshold of the house, and at the action I swiftly raised my wand and fixed the anti-apparition charm inside the house. Dean tensed as I raised my wand but in a defeatist attitude, walked to presumably knock on the bedroom door to bring Ginny back. I stood somewhat awkwardly, with less fire burning, as I listened to their whispered argument a few rooms away- Ginny's voice as harsh as wasps and Dean's low and pleading. Apparently the pleading won out as moments later Ginny emerged, in a silky and slightly too short dressing gown, with an irritated look on her still made up face, her hair out of it's elegant style.

"What?" she snapped, striding over to the still open front door to slam it shut.

I recoiled involuntarily, then regained control. "Good hostess skills"

Ginny was clearly seething, her arms folded tightly across her chest and her expression tight. It was at that point that I remembered what I had come to tell her, and flinched slightly as I realised I had more likely than not made it worse for myself. She chose not to reply and chose to merely stare at me with unrestrained anger.

"Look this isn't really a social call, I wasn't planning on staying. More informing then leaving" I said, sighing, accepting that we were past pleasantries by now, and she was clearly in the middle of getting ready for bed and I was no doubt in the way.

"Good"

"Right," I started, ringing my hands and focusing very hard on the intricate shapes of the carpet as I prepared to speak. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dean attempting to hide behind the door but listen, curiosity clear on his face. Ginny let out a loud sigh, her foot tapping impatiently on the floor. "I'mseesomemione"

Raising my head I was met by an expression of total confusion for a moment, which made a refreshing change from the mask of anger/pain/hatred that was usually reserved for me. I realised in that moment, that I had once again failed to string my words into a coherent sentence.

I took a deep breath, and tried again, slowly this time. "I am seeing someone" deep breath again "I'm seeing Hermione, Ginny"

Ginny smiled for a moment, but then that turned into a malicious laugh, then a slap.

**xox**

_The weekend had arrived at Hogwarts, and I sat miserably in my office, marking essays. My eyes flickered up to my photograph of Ginny on my desk, smiling back at the moving Ginny from our wedding day. Absentmindedly I played with the band on my finger, trying to distract myself. I missed her terribly when I was at Hogwarts, I tried to get home as often as possible. I was supposed to this weekend but Ginny was going to be away that weekend, writing for the Prophet's quidditch section. I had protested that there were no league matches scheduled that weekend, but she had insisted that it was a minor team hoping to break into the big leagues. Our marriage had been shaky the past few months, we weren't arguing but there was no passion there anymore. She hardly looked at me, touched me. I felt like she was avoiding me._

_Gazing out the window at the setting sun, I decided to try and find a better form of distraction. I decided to head to The Three Broomsticks. Grabbing my cloak I headed out towards Hogsmeade, Ginny still very much on my mind. The pub was very busy when I arrived, and I dived for the last remaining barstool. I sank into it with relief, and flagged down Rosmerta who treated me with her usual bit of banter and pint of beer. I took a deep inhale, smelling the alcoholic release and letting it flood my taste buds. More and more flooded down me and I lost more and more touch of myself. When I emerged from the glass I was treated to an unusual scent of cheap perfume and cigarettes._

_"Harry" the woman whispered, looking roughly around my age with heavy makeup and a shock of dark hair. _

_I examined the woman as best I could through alcohol tainted eyes, recognising her in a vaguely familiar way. The loud, wannabe-seductive voice was familiar to me. To some extent I found her attractive, the base beauty was there, but it was covered by the tackiness and cheapness. I was fairly certain the alcohol was clouding my judgement but I allowed it, the loneliness getting the better of me. _

_She stared at me, drunk herself but looking quite indignant that I had not recognised her. "It's me, Romilda Vane" _

_I nodded in recognition then slurred. "Rolinda, I remember you"_

_With a look of a predator catching her prey, Romilda- or Rolinda- Vane smiled at me, and passed me a drink._

_That was the last bit I could remember up until I found myself round the back of The Three Broomsticks, where Rosmerta let her cat out of a night, where the smokers went. I was backed up against a wall, Romilda Vane was finishing her cigarette, stubbing it out on the wall and tossing it carelessly onto the slabs of paving laid carelessly to form some sort of patio. She turned round to place herself against me, sticking out her breasts and looking at me under her eyelashes. She forced herself onto me, her cigarette smell coming closer and closer until she had forced her open mouth onto mine, her tongue invading my mouth. Shock held me there initially, then attraction, loneliness and alcohol kept me there. I should of pushed her off straight away but I couldn't quite, until she moved my hand up her short skirt, which her cloak hand covered. I then discovered that this particular day she had forgotten her knickers._

_That discovery sobered me up instantly, and I pushed her off, wiping her slippery lipstick off my mouth. I smelt my hand with a frown, discovering a less than pleasant smell. Then I ran. Without any explanation I ran away from her, realising in that moment who I wanted to see, that I wanted to try and make it work. I had loved Ginny more than my own life once and I wanted that back more than anything. Producing a bouquet of flowers I disapparated, reappearing at Potter College. I walked purposefully, yet quietly, through the door. I wanted to surprise her, because I knew the actual chances of her actually being at work were slim. Creeping towards the bedroom, I quietly opened the door. There was movement in the bed, I smirked slightly as I saw her, naked and writhing in pleasure. Perhaps she was dreaming of me? Then a head appeared from under the cover._

_"Shit" I shouted, throwing down the flowers and lighting the lights with my wand._

_"Harry" she said weakly, shock and guilt crossing her face._

_"Hey Harry" came the voice of Newt Scamander, from the naked body which was lying on top of my wife._

**A/N I was going to make the couple in the cupboard a different couple then he see Harry & Hermione somewhere else in the party but that would be too cliche for me. **


End file.
